And now that I've gotten that out of the way, I shouldn't have to say it again for another year.
On to the business at hand. I was struck by another brilliant idea today. This idea is similar to the iron man triathlon in the sense that it combines uninteresting sports, but unlike the triathlon, this particular combination results in quality entertainment or so I imagine. I believe that competitive eating and long distance running should be united at last. Now you may be wondering, do you eat and then run, or do you run and then eat? Well, the way I see this working is that you start out by running, but there are eating stations along the route which you must complete before continuing with the run.
So you might start out by running a 5k, and then you would stop and have to down 10 hot dogs before continuing. Then after another 5k, you would have to stop for a competition to see how many chicken wings you could down in 5 minutes. In order to prevent people from taking it easy on the timed eating, only the top 25% could continue. And of course vomiting would result in a disqualification.
Now I haven't nailed down all of the rules just yet, but I think you get the basic idea of how this would go down. And perhaps finishing off the whole event with some jumping jacks might be fun, but then again maybe not. The prize for the winner, in addition to a free ambulance ride and whatever medical attention might be required, and of course the glory that would go along with winning, would be the coveted iron gut trophy. A cast iron trophy of a man or woman (there would of course be separate events) doubled over in pain clutching his/her gut.
If you are interested in competing in the inaugural event, reserve your spot now as they are filling up quickly.