Thursday, August 30, 2007

New Seahawks Quarterback

Northwest Cable News is reporting that the Seahawks have traded for Mark Brunell, however the Washington Post is claiming that the Seahawks have only inquired about Brunell. I know they have been looking for a veteran QB, and it would be nice to have Brunell retire in Seattle. I guess we'll have to wait and see how things turn out.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


That's right, I ran a 7 minute and 28 second mile on the treadmill today. That's f'in amazing for a fat bastard like me. I haven't put up that kind of time in over a decade. I deserve a nap after that.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Congratulations Sensei Carraway

Sensei Carraway sent this to me today and I had to share.

Things I Hate To Admit

Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely hate Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit (one of the dumbest band names in history incidentally). That being said, I can't seem to stop listening to the song Break Stuff lately. I don't really know why, other than I've been feeling pretty aggressive lately and actually have been feeling like breaking something.

I also can't seem to stop listening to Mama Said Knock You Out, but somehow that seems less shameful to admit.

I guess it doesn't help that I was coerced into watching UFC over the weekend. I did come to the realization though that I can't be a true badass until I come up with a good nickname. I was thinking perhaps I could be the opposite of Randy 'the natural' Couture. I'll be Scott 'the unnatural' Crawford.


Is it possible to sunburn your lips? My lips have been sore and chapped as hell for about a week now and the only explanation I can come up with is that I sunburned them. Either that or it's from my 'other job' walking the streets down by Seatac..... Anyway, no amount of chap stick seems to be fixing the problem. They are cracked and a little swollen and it's really starting to get unpleasant. I just hope the worst of it's over.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Human Weapon

I have been really getting into the show Human Weapon on the History Channel (Friday's at 10). If you haven't seen the show, the basic premise is that 2 guys, one a former MMA fighter, the other a former football player and wrestler, travel the world studying the history and technique of different martial arts. It's a lot more interesting than I would have guessed. Obviously I enjoyed the Karate episode the most, but also found myself very interested in Eskrima stick fighting. I haven't watched the Krav Maga episode yet but have it recorded and am looking forward to seeing it.

Even if you aren't interested in fighting, I believe the historical aspects of the show are enough to interest you. For example, I don't find Judo particularly interesting to watch, but found it's origins quite interesting. Ju Jitsu started from unarmed samurai needing a way to fight each other, and traditional strikes were ineffective with all the armor on. Judo evolved from Ju Jitsu, with more of an emphasis on being a sport.

The other aspect of the show I find intriguing is the varying training techniques. Not only do all of the different styles have different training techniques, but different schools of the same style often have widely varying training.

Anyway, getting to travel the world and train in a variety of different martial arts would be a great job. Until I can get that job though, I'll just have to be satisfied with watching.

Fall Movie Preview

Summer is almost over, and it's time for the excessively long fall movie preview. So far, here's what I have to think:

I can't believe they are making another Resident Evil movie. The first 2 were terrible. They must have somehow managed to make money though.

Good Luck Chuck looks really iffy, but since I love Jessica Alba, I might be able to watch it.

I'm not much of a fan of Westerns, so I'm not too likely to watch 3:10 to Yuma, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, or No Country for Old Men. Since I'm drawn to historical based movies, I'm most likely to see the movie about Jesse James.

30 Days of Night has 2 big strikes against it. First, most vampire movies are kind of crappy. Second, and more frightening, it's adapted from a 'graphic novel' (fancy name for a long comic book for those of you unfamiliar with the term, or perhaps uppity comic book for nerds who don't want to admit they are nerds, but I digress). I might end up seeing it anyway though since it will be out around Halloween.

Saw 4 I am unlikely to see. I liked the first movie quite a bit, but they just keep getting worse. I doubt they are able to reverse the trend at this point.

Hitman is based on a videogame. Avoid at all costs.

Gone Baby Gone is directed by Ben Affleck and stars Casey Affleck. Hitman sounds more promising.

American Gangster is based on a true story (which doesn't really mean any of it is really true, but whatever). Denzel Washington apparently hasn't had enough of playing villains and will be playing the biggest crime lord in New York in the 70s. Having seen the preview, it's still tough to gauge this one. It looks like a black Goodfellas. It could be good, but it also looks like it could be a disaster. The fact that it's been through seven years of development, three directors, a name change, and a narrowly averted switch from Denzel Washington to Don Cheadle in the leading role isn't a good sign.

I'm interested in the story of Beowulf, but the upcoming version looks like a CGI spectacular, which usually means the story suffers. I'm still hoping for the best though.

Vince Vaughn plays Santa's shiftless older brother in Fred Clause. Sounds promising, however at this point I'm just hoping it turns out better than Bad Santa.

Lions For Lambs is going to be huge, but I don't know if I can stomach another Tom Cruise movie. The nuttier he gets, the harder it is to see him as anything other than himself in a movie. It just keeps getting harder to buy his character. Throw in Meryl Streep and some leftist propaganda, and I'm out.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is being re-released in 3D. I've still never seen that movie and probably never will.

Finally, I don't know much of anything about Ten Commandments: The Musical, other than it stars Val Kilmer, but it scares the hell out of me.

December 3rd the Key Arena. Van Halen. Who's in?

Assuming that they make it that long without self destructing, and assuming that the tickets aren't exorbitantly overpriced, I'm going to do my best to get some tickets. Even if it means paying those dirtbags at Ticketmaster way too much. I won't, however, wait in line for extended periods of time, and by that I mean more than an hour. I might be willing to sell a kidney, but would have to be guaranteed back stage passes.

I propose a group outing to the show. Tickets haven't gone on sale yet, so we still have time to organize.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Five Most Unintentionally Funny Albums of 2006

Ok, I found this list of the most unintentionally funny albums of 2006, and while I haven't heard of most of the bands, only the craptacular My Chemical Romance, I am now really interested in hearing some of them. Particularly Belle and Sebastian after reading this description of their music:

Belle and Sebastian are trying to achieve the exact opposite image of
DragonForce. A far cry from a raging metal band obsessed with burning flames of
fire, these dandy fops want to bring you into their world of tea and crumpets,
where unicorns and leprechauns pick daisies and talk about rainbows. Their music
is the sound of two Smurfs hugging.

And just check out some of the songs rumored to be on the band’s next
“Kisses for Grandma”
“Spoonin’ and a Cuddlin’”
“I Pooped a Cupcake”
“The Ballad of the Missing Testicles”

I still can't stop laughing about those last 2.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

World Class Beating

I was shocked today when I saw this score: the Texas Rangers beat the Baltimore Orioles by a score of 30-3. That is unquestionably the biggest ass whoopin I have ever heard of. And the most runs scored by one team since 1897. And what may be the most amazing statistic in all this is not that there were 2 grand slams, not that two different players hit 2 home runs each and each had 7 RBI, not that the Orioles led 3-0 before giving up 30 unanswered runs, but that the game was only 3 hours and 21 minutes. How in the world did they score so many runs in just over a standard length game? If this game is ever re-broadcast, I am definitely going to have to watch it.

Bourne Ultimatum

I just watched the Bourne Ultimatum and have to say it was fantastic. If you've seen the first 2, then you know what to expect. More government conspiracies, more revelations about Bourne's past, more action, more everything. I can't really put my finger on exactly what it was, but this to me was a far more engaging plot than the first 2 movies. Maybe it was that we finally get enough background on Jason Bourne that the pieces are finally starting to fall into place. Maybe it was that they humanized him more in this episode, made him a more sympathetic character - the assassin with a heart of gold. I don't quite know, I just know it was good.

On the negative side, I will say that they way overused my biggest pet peeve currently the fad in action movies - the shaky handheld camera. I can't begin to tell you how much I hate that. First of all, you can't tell at all what is going on in any fight scene. You might as well just close your eyes and imagine something happening. It's annoying enough on a tv at home, on a theater screen, it can be downright disorienting. It's not as bad in scenes when they are just following someone down the hall or something, but it's still exceptionally annoying to have the entire screen shaking around.

One last unrelated note: as I watched, I couldn't help thinking about how different the careers have gone for buddies Matt Damon and Ben Afflek. Ever since they became big names in Good Will Hunting, Matt Damon has been able to consistently land roles in good solid movies, while Ben Afflek has done crap after crap. My point? I hate Ben Afflek. Not much more to it than that.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Glacier Surfing

Special thanks to Wayne for bringing this to my attention. People wait around in the water up in Alaska waiting for a chunk of glacier to break off and fall into the water, then surf the ensuing wave. It's stupid as hell. I just assume that these people don't have access to quality television programming wherever they are from.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Barely Coherent Ramblings

I'll start off today's nonsense by saying that believe it or not, I'm happy to get a little rain, but enough already. The rain means that I can put off washing my car for a little while longer. It has been absolutely filthy. Unfortunately the rain also means that I showed up for work soaking wet this morning because I was dumb enough to walk out the door without a coat or umbrella, and by the time I got down the stairs and outside and realize it was raining, I didn't think I could go back for an umbrella without risking missing the bus. Sometimes my own brilliance amazes me.

But getting back to my filthy car, it has been needing a good washing since I parked too close to a tree at the park & ride that dripped sap all over it. This all happened shortly after my best day all summer. This particularly good day I managed to come across the nice girls from the Bellevue High School drill team who washed my car for me. God bless those sweet girls. And even though I've heard that going to high school fund raiser car washes is the best way to get your paint job scratched up, I'd recommend them to all my friends.

Ever since I moved into my current place, laundry has been a nuisance. I don't have a washer and dryer in my apartment and am forced to use the building laundry down stairs. Not only does this mean that I have to have quarters on hand if i want clean clothes, but it also means I can't just throw my clothes in the washer before I go to work, then throw them in the dryer when I get home and come back for them later. I pretty much have to be around for a couple hours to babysit my laundry. About half the time there is some jackass camping out by the washer counting the minutes for it to get done so that they can pull out my clothes the second the machine shuts off and then put them on something dirty.

Well, I was relaying this very tale to a coworker this weekend who came up with a solution so brilliant in it's simplicity that I can't believe I've never thought of it before. He said I need to find a girlfriend with a washer and dryer so I can spend time with her while I do my laundry and kill two birds with one stone. So if anyone knows a nice girl with a washer and dryer, send her my way.

Finally, I got this picture from my sister today. She managed to make it out of Peru safe and sound. For the record, I have been absolutely dying to go see Machu Picchu for years. It may very well be the coolest, most fascinating place on earth. Hopefully I'll get down there sooner than later. Until then, I'll have to be satisfied with the pictures.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Nothing To Say

The last few weeks have been very busy for me. I've been feeling pretty bad physically, mentally, emotionally, pretty much every way you can feel bad I have. So it's been even more of a stuggle than usual to find anything interesting to say. One of these days I might come up with something. Until then, here is some of the random nonsense that has been going through my head recently.

The sands of time continue to fall through the hourglass. Saturday I turned 35. Over the last couple of weeks I've come to realize that I'm middle aged, alone, working a fairly low paying job, don't own my own place, and have no real hope of changing any of those facts in the near future. My life is half over and I haven't done anything worthwhile or made a difference in anybody's life. If this is what a midlife crisis is all about, it sure sucks.

The best thing I got for my birthday was from my Uncle Mike (who I'm named after by the way). He just got back from vacation in Vegas and put $10 on the Seahawks to win the Superbowl for me.

I apologize to Jeff Weaver for all the bad things I've said about him this year. He put in another solid outing on Saturday. It was great to see the M's complete the sweep and pull to within 2 games of the Angels. If they make it to the World Series, I'm taking vacation from my regular job to work those games.

So that's about it. Once life stops sucking, I'll get back to a more normal posting schedule.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Earthquake in Peru

I'm sure most of you by now have heard about the 7.9 Earthquake in Peru. Apparently the death toll is now over 500. Well, I had a bit of a scare when I first heard about it since my sister is currently on vacation in Peru. The good news is that I got an email from her and she is ok. She was up in Cusco at the time and was far enough away that she wasn't in any danger. The bad news is that she was supposed to fly from Cusco to Lima yesterday, and fly back home from Lima Saturday, but with the airport in Lima closed, she's stuck in Peru for the time being. I don't have any fear of flying, but that is exactly the thing that worries me most when traveling. Getting stuck somewhere unable to get home. So it's a relief that she's safe, but this won't help my anxiety any the next time I travel.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Every election there are more stories talking about the decreasing percentage of people who vote. I have come up with a brilliant new idea to get people out to the polls:

First of all, I think negative campaigning has resulted in a lot of ill will among voters. Who wants to support someone when all the candidates seem dishonest or sleazy or worse. This is what led to my revolutionary plan.

Since campaigning is overwhelmingly negative, so should voting. I propose that instead of voting for a candidate, you should have the option of voting against the candidate you dislike the most. If no candidate gives you a good enough reason to vote for them, then you should be able to vote against the candidate who displeases you the most.

This will revolutionize politics as we know it. And I see no down side to this. Anyone who says there is a down side is wrong. And as it looks now, I may well be voting against Hillary Clinton in a little over a year.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Today's Links

I found this story about the UW's innovative nutritional regimen for their football team. Instead of Gatoraid or some other sports drink, the football players are being given chocolate milk. It seems that they found a nutritional study showing that there isn't a significant difference between milk and sports drinks in replenishing and rehydrating the body. And the training staff prefers a more natural drink for the players. Either that or the milk people got to them.

The other interesting like I came across is Simpsonize Me. Upload a picture of yourself and see what you would look like as a Simpsons character. I have yet to give it a try but will post the results when I do.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Twilight Zone

Somebody at work today mentioned Golden Earring, and I have had Twilight Zone stuck in my head since then. And while the music still holds up well, the video sure doesn't. And for those of you at work, this video is a little inappropriate for the workplace.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Quality Acting

I was thinking today, I am very fond of both Anthony Hopkins and Morgan Freeman. I will watch anything either of those guys is in. I can't really say that about many actors. I'm not sure what exactly it is about them, but they are absolutely captivating. My point? I don't really have one, but I think I need to see Amistad again since both of them were in that.

Also, if you haven't seen The World's Fastest Indian, you should watch that immediately. It's not a very well known movie, but it's very good. Based on a true story, Anthony Hopkins plays a New Zealand man who modified his Indian motorcycle and then spent every dollar he had to go to the Bonneville salt flats to race it and ended up setting a new land speed record. And you have to watch the extras on the DVD. There is some home video of the real guy, and it's absolutely amazing how much Anthony Hopkins absolutely nailed that part. And it's just a fascinating, uplifting story. No matter how many obstacles this guy encountered, he never let it get him down.

Is That A Monkey On Your Head?

Apparently smuggling is easier than I thought. Contrary to popular opinion, airport security is not really as tight as I had hoped. I realized that when I came across this article about a man who snuck a monkey past airport security by hiding it under his hat. I don't know why drug smugglers bother hiding their stash in their pants, or worse yet, keistering their goods when all it really takes is a hat.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

The Big Tease

As some of you may know, I have a birthday coming up soon. Well, I got a letter in the mail from the department of licensing telling me that my present this year is that I can renew online instead of going down and standing in line. That seemed like a good idea to me until I logged on to the DOL web site, jumped through all their hoops, and then got to the end and got a message that more screening was necessary and I have to go down to the office anyway. I don't know if I answered the organ donor question wrong, or if it's because I haven't lost consciousness in the last 6 months, but the whole thing turned out to be a cruel hoax.

The DOL has just made my list of people and organizations I hate at the moment. As a matter of fact, I may have to start a new feature: who I hate this week. They can join the Boston Red Sox and their fans, Paula Reynolds, and Cher. What has Cher done this week you ask? Well, nothing that I know of, but I never liked her and she just popped into my head for some reason. And now I can't stop thinking of that creepy video she did on some battleship, perhaps the Missouri, I don't remember which one it was. I just remember the video was exceptionally creepy. And I think that may be a new world record for most unrelated tangent. It's got to be a personal best at least.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide

Special thanks to Pat for uncovering this gem. I'm not normally very entertained by Penn and Teller, but this is brilliant.

Bum Stink

I don't know if there is any more offensive odor known to man as bum stink. It's a mixture of urine, alcohol, severe body odor, cigarettes, and occasionally a few other things thrown in to create a horrible funk. I caught a whiff of it from somebody on the way into work the other day and it turned my stomach. I just considered myself fortunate that I was not close enough to get a lethal dose. I don't know how these guys are unable to smell themselves. I think it may be one of those situations where you become accustomed to it and eventually don't smell it anymore, kind of like the people who work for Hershey's and can't smell chocolate anymore.

To this day I still remember the foulest smelling human being I have ever encountered. Many years ago I was on a bus that pulled into the bus tunnel and a guy got on the bus at the stop by the Paramount and sat right behind me. Even though I was just going to the next stop at Westlake Center, I was nearly unable to fight back the urge to vomit. It was that potent. And as I got off the bus, I looked back to see that he was wearing a WSU shirt. Now I do know some Cougs that bathe occasionally, but I think it's clear that personally hygiene is not a priority in the Palouse.


I haven't heard anything from the Scorpions in forever, but they are still alive and kicking. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the radio to not only hear a new song from them, but that it's really damn good. Luckily there is already a video on youtube, so here you go.

If you're a fan of music at all, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Humanity is the name of the song, and also, I believe their upcoming album.

Friday, August 03, 2007

OJ's Presidential Endorsement

I heard on the radio this morning that OJ Simpson is officially endorsing Hillary Clinton for president. I can only imagine how much this is going to help her campaign. With some shrewd negotiating and a little luck, she may also be able to enlist the support of Charles Manson, Gary Ridgeway, and maybe even Ted Kaczynski.

Thursday, August 02, 2007


Of all the classic video games that I would like to see be remade, Splatterhouse has to be at the top of my list. It was a side scrolling action game that featured a muscle bound guy with a hockey mask walking through a haunted house dispatching various ghouls, monsters, and generally bad creatures with a 2x4. I think you could eventually upgrade to more powerful weapons, but I don't really remember for sure. And I will readily admit that while I found it vastly entertaining at the time, there is a very good chance that I would find it dreadful if I were to play it now. But I still think a remake or sequel is in order.

It's About Time

You heard it here first, the Mariners are finally going to call up Adam Jones. He's been tearing up AAA all year, and Friday he's going to be with the team. Unfortunately for Jason Ellison, he's the one who gets to give up his seat on the team plane to make room for him, but all we used him for this year was a pinch runner anyway, so who cares (other than Jason and his friends). I just hope that John McClaren actually lets him play and doesn't just sit him on the bench for the rest of the year. So that's just one more reason to make it out to the ballpark this weekend, in addition to heckling the thick headed Boston band wagon fans.