Monday, August 31, 2009

Cash For Clunkers

Ever wonder what happens with all of the cars in the cash for clunkers program? Well, wonder no more. They end up in Hillsboro at the Oregon Air Show where they are fed to Truck-o-Saurus.

Eventually Truck-o-Saurus tires of chewing on the cars and breathes fire on them, ultimately bifurcating them. Unquestionable a fine use of our tax dollars.

Friday, August 28, 2009


Friday is brought to you by the porkmobile. I'm not sure what it's really called - something unmemorable like Maximus Minimus, which is far less catchy than the porkmobile - but it's always parked on the corner of 2nd & Pike around lunchtime. I've never eaten there, primarily because of my aversion to eating at establishments which can just drive away when the health inspector shows up, but also because it always has a long line and because $8 a sammich is pushing stadium prices. Oh, and because the bald girl with a pierced nose (and God knows what else *shudder*) kind of creeps me out.

These things not withstanding, it's still an interesting place and I applaud the modifications made to their mobile sammich unit. It's quite eye catching, and I also appreciate their homage to Charlotte's Web with their license plate. It's clever marketing, and based on the daily lines I assume that their food is good based on the aforementioned lines. I'm not likely to give it a try though, particularly with cheaper, more stationary, closer places like Mad Oven BBQ. But if I hear enough rave reviews (none so far) you never know, I may end up there one day. At least it's an improvement on the police mobile oppression unit (RV) that I've seen parked there many a time.

I did manage to track down some more photos as well as some reviews. I take online reviews with a grain of salt, however, and couldn't make it past the person who used the term, "delish." Not only is that an instant loss of credibility, but anyone using that term deserves a good bitch slap for being a hipster doofus. I think that one review just ruined my whole day and destroyed any remaining faith in humanity.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Bottom Rack

....the gift that keeps on giving. My last two trips to Costco, after putting everything in my car, I've taken the shopping cart to the corral to find a gift left for me on the bottom rack of a cart already there. Last time I came away with a free case of bottled water. Today I scored a take and bake pizza. Both times I took a look around to try to locate the rightful owner of the afore mentioned items but to no avail. I kind of feel bad for the person who left it behind, but then I remind myself that it is most likely one of the oblivious people who like to stand around and block an entire aisle, seemingly unaware that they are inconveniencing everyone around them. Plus, by the time they get home and realize that they left something behind, they aren't going to drive all the way back for a pizza. Especially not this one that doesn't even have any meat on it, just some tomato slices and pesto sauce. Luckily for me I have some meat in the frig and can fix that problem.

Now I'm considering not shopping at Costco at all, but rather periodically driving through the parking lot and scavanging the items left behind in carts. One of these days I'm hoping to find an LCD TV. Or maybe some of those big muffins. I love those. Since I've officially tipped you off to this phenomenon, I expect a commission on any windfalls. I have yet to have any luck at non-Costco stores, but you never know.

Useless Trivia

The holder of the world record for being the longest serving bartender is 95-year-old Angelo Cammarata, who has been serving the drinks at Cammarata's Café in Pittsburgh for over 76 years - since the moment prohibition ended in 1933. He's now finally retiring, after the bar was sold.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Before & After



And after:

And after:

I don't think the Smart Car is for me.

Low Score

The crowning jewel of Jerry Jones decadent homage to his own ego - the $40 million scoreboard suspended above the center of the field - is too low. In Saturday's game against the Titans, punter A J Trapasso bounced a punt off said scoreboard. Despite the fact that during tests 2 years ago, Cowboys punter Mat McBriar sent kicks more than 100 feet high, Jerry Jones decided that 90 feet was plenty high. And in a moment of sheer hubris, Jerry's reaction to all of this is to deny that the scoreboard is too low and petulantly pout that the Titan punters were hitting it on purpose. Shame on them.

It remains to be seen whether the NFL will coerce Jones into changing his mind or simply over rule him and out and out force him to raise the board, but one possibility intrigues me. Since hitting the board results in a re-kick with no time added back onto the clock, a team with a narrow lead could repeatedly boot the ball into it until time runs out. Hopefully it will be a visiting team that tries that.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Too Good To Last

Brett Favre's retirement that is. I knew it was just a smoke screen to skip out on training camp and today my worst nightmares came true: he unretired yet again and inked a deal with the Vikings. At this point in his career, he really can't help a team any, although I will begrudgingly admit that he's an improvement over the miserable Tarvaris Jackson. Brett is now cementing his legacy as a self centered, egomaniacal attention whore. I will go on record right now with my prediction that he will set a new franchise record for interceptions and will lead the Vikings to a 6-10 record. I had really been looking forward to enjoying a season free of that drama queen, but I guess that will have to wait another year. But I'm afraid that we are a mere 9 months from having a third straight season of him retiring, reading stories of team mates saying he's terrible to play with, then unretiring with yet another team desperate enough to take a chance on him. I know it's too much to ask for, but maybe Julian Peterson will do the world a favor and sack Favre into retirement in the second game of the season on 9/20.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Craw Fu - Trend Setter

After decades of being shunned by the fashion community, it turns out that the "Craw Fu look" is finally in style. According to this article, which I view as the gospel truth, it is now trendy to sport a gut. Tired of the effort it takes to build six pack abs and hone a tightly chiseled body, lazy men of the world have united and informed women kind that it is unrealistic to expect men to look like that and have defiantly said, "world, this is what men are supposed to look like." It's time to stop doing those crunches and pick up those baby back ribs.

As an added bonus, we are no longer expected to dress in the latest fashions. Shorts and a t-shirt are currently the way to go. Now I have drawers full of stylish clothes rather than my typical none! This is truly a golden age for humanity. My tenets are slowly being adopted by the masses. It is only a matter of time until all of my philosophies are adopted and we live in a veritable utopia. This is one small step for lazy man, one giant leap for mankind.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Zune HD

Saw this article in the Wall Street Journal today that Microsoft is aggressively pricing the new Zune HD, significantly undercutting the ipod touch. Obviously MS hopes to capture some of the market share currently dominated by Apple, but all I can think is, can you really tell the difference between HD and standard definition on a 2" screen? And how much HD video can you store on a 16 GB player? 5 hours? I guess that's not too bad, but it's a little hard for me to imagine that this is a product the market is clamouring for. I think this will be another poor seller.

In unrelated news, I stumbled across this deal recently, Rock Band special edition with all of the instruments, Rock Band 2, and the AC/DC pack all for $99. Sounds like a great deal and I have googled everything I can think of to find out if it's a legit deal or a scam but can't find anybody talking about it. Does anybody have any idea if it's legit?

RIP Les Paul

And so it is that we lose another legend. Les Paul died today at the age of 94. Best known for inventing the solid body guitar that now bears his name, both his playing and his inventions changed the landscape of the music industry. I have nothing more profound to say than has already been said, so I'll simply leave it to those more suited to comment than myself. The world will be a little darker place without him.

"Les Paul was truly a 'one of a kind.' We owe many of his inventions that made the rock 'n roll sound of today to him, and he was the founding father of modern music. This is a huge loss to the music community and the world. I am honored to have known him." - BB King

"Les Paul set a standard for musicianship and innovation that remains unsurpassed. He was the original guitar hero and the kindest of souls. Last October I joined him onstage at the Iridium club in [New York], and he was still shredding. He was and still is an inspiration to us all." - Joe Satriani

"Les Paul was a shining example of how full one's life can be; he was so vibrant and full of positive energy." - Slash

"Without Les Paul, we would not have rock and roll as we know it," said Terry Stewart, president of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. "His inventions created the infrastructure for the music and his playing style will ripple through generations. He was truly an architect of rock and roll."

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

They're Just Pets

I know very well that the little corner of the world we live in is pretty eccentric to put it politely, but that doesn't mean I still don't see the occasional thing that makes me shake my head. A growing trend that I find disturbing is the people who are unable to make the distinction between children and pets. It starts as referring to their pets as their children - relatively harmless until it progresses to stage two - dressing their pets. That is legitimate cause for concern and if no one intervenes could lead to nutjobs leaving their possessions to their pets in their wills.

Today I witnessed a new branch on the tree of dementia. Walking down first avenue I saw two creepy women walking the opposite direction pushing strollers. Inside one of the strollers was a dog, inside the other was two dogs. What the hell is wrong with people that the can't even let their pets walk for themselves? Not only do dogs actually like to walk and get exercise, it is pretty cruel to prevent them from getting any. Not to mention that they can't sniff what they want. I find this even creepier than Paris Hilton carrying her dog around in her purse.

Rounding out my day today was a nerdy drunk kid who appeared to be about 16, pudgy, and badly in need of either a hair cut or a comb. While waiting for the bus he walked up to me and extended his hand, and when it became apparent that ignoring him wouldn't make him go away, I popped out my ear buds and gave him my 'explain yourself' look. He introduced himself and insisted that I shake his hand, and proceed to tell me not to take any shit from anybody. I said ok, hoping that would be the end of it, but he repeated himself. Again I said ok and this time added a nod. Either believing that the third time is the charm or that I wasn't taking him seriously (I sure wasn't), he repeated himself yet again. And yet again I said ok, this time more slowly. This did the trick and he went away but left me wondering why people won't just leave me alone. I don't know what it is, but apparently normal people like me are absolutely fascinating to those with altered brains.

Monday, August 10, 2009

My Little Pony

Ever since I saw this article, I have a craving for a mini sirloin burger.

Brings a whole new meaning to the term quarter horse.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Jake Johannsen

This bit will never get old, no matter how many times I hear it. Hilarious.

Just Because

....a drunken Oompa Loompa

Friday, August 07, 2009

Denial of Service?

I am currently getting an error message stating, "sorry, you're network may be sending out an automated request" whenever I try to access any blogger pages. I heard that twitter and facebook were hit with denial of service attacks yesterday, perhaps it's bloggers turn today. Luckily I found a back door to get on and post. And so I give you this useless trivia:

The katzenklavier, or cat piano, was a 'musical instrument' designed by 17th century German polymath Athanasius Kircher. It consisted of a row of cats in cages, arranged by voice tone, which were 'played' using a keyboard that jabbed nails into their tails – making them yelp.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Poorly Named Product

There's no way in the world I'm putting that in my mouth.

I guess the name "Jack Links" wasn't suggestive enough.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Rate A Teacher

This is kind of fun and wrong at the same time. Rate the attractiveness of teachers who have been involved in scandalous activity with their students. Some of them are surprisingly attractive.

GI Joe

Bad news for those of you hoping for a good GI Joe movie. Reports are that Paramount Studios is not allowing reviewers to screen the movie prior to it's release. That doesn't necessarily mean it will be bad, but it certainly isn't a good sign. Proceed with caution before shelling out any money on this one.

In almost related news, I recently sat through Watchmen and it was truly terrible. I have been trying to decide whether or not to write a full fledged review and ultimately have decided against it. I will limit myself to saying that it had a very simplistic plot which they tried to mask by throwing every twist and red herring they could think of into it, leaving you with a mess. A 3 hour mess which really dragged at parts. Ultimately what you are left with is a movie with no substance trying to get by on being sylistic and throwing in just enough pointless sex, violence, and anti-social behaviour to appeal to teens. Not to mention a creepy blue dude that doesn't believe in wearing pants. If you are not a male between the ages of 12 and 16, it's hard for me to imagine you will like Watchmen.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

A Day In The Life ....

7:00 AM: Alarm goes off. I'm super tired and vow revenge on the world for being awake.

7:45 AM: There are 4 attractive women on the bus this morning. A fat middle aged woman sits next to me.

8:30 AM: Get off the elevator on my floor and am greeted by the higher up manager in town this week from Ohio who shall remain mostly nameless. She has never acknowledged my existence and I am temporarily stunned and suspicious why she is talking to me. Her last name is Rose and I now have the David Lee Roth song Yankee Rose stuck in my head. Attempt to dislodge it with some Tool but the success proves temporary.

10:00 AM: Sat through another boring meeting. In an attempt to liven things up I relay my story about the manager, throwing in a line that I think she flipped a coin and came up with the right name (there is currently only one other male in my department). Uproarious laughter follows. Learning from George Costanza I quit while I'm ahead.

11:00 AM: Get back to my desk and the toll free line, my direct line, and my cell phone all start ringing simultaneously. This is going to be a long day.

12:30 PM: On my way to get lunch, a man is weaving all over the sidewalk while poking at his blackberry like a confused monkey. I hate people who can't walk in a straight line and/or pay attention to where they are going, and as he approaches me I plan to put a shoulder into him. He looks up before he gets to me and avoids disaster.

12:34 PM: I plan on lunching at Belle Epicurean, which I have never tried before. As I approach it smells strongly of paint and I keep walking.

12:35 PM: An annoying couple walking behind me is acting all lovey-dovey. I resist the temptation to turn around and vomit on them.

12:36 PM: Building construction is blocking a good portion of the sidewalk. I give a solid shoulder bump to two consecutive pedestrians who apparently assume I will step out into the street so that they can have more room to saunter down the sidewalk.

12:45 PM: Gyros in hand, I nearly witness the flattening of a woman who is apparently unfamiliar with the red hand/green dude crosswalk convention and blindly steps in front of the route 43 bus. The loud shrieking of her friend saves her life as it causes her to jump back.

12:47 PM: A van is driving the wrong way down one way 4th Ave. Not a good idea.

1:07 PM: I begin wondering if I should stop labeling the times as am or pm as it doesn't really seem necessary. However precedent has been set.

2:46 PM: Lunch coma striking with full force. I really want a nap. But since I can't have one, I'll go get some more coffee.

3:23 PM: Mourned the untimely death of yet another celebrity, this time Benson - Britain's largest carp. Tragically, foul play is suspected.

5:20 PM: Resist the urge to yell Jumanji, as I do every day, when I see the 400 pound (estimated) woman running to be the first person on the bus so she can take up 2 seats. I really can't stand her.

5:29 PM: Witness a homeless man unabashedly urinating on a building. Not down an alley, not in a shaded area. Just right out in the open. I need to find a job on the East side.

6:08 PM: Home finally and I can't help thinking that I need some new dress clothes.

6:09 PM: Realize I'm too lazy to go to a store to buy some new clothes. Maybe some will magically appear in my closet.

7:27 PM: Need to do laundry and work out. Am watching the Mariners game instead.

7:29 PM: Former Mariner Miguel Olivo gets a single. I think there are more former M's on the Royals roster than there are Mariners currently on the M's roster. Yes, that's possible.

7:49 PM: Feeling like I'm crossing the line from regular lazy into cartoonish lazy, I opt for the lesser of the 2 evils and begin eradication of my laundry pile. I now feel productive, although I'm again reminded of my irritation at not having my own washer & dryer in my unit, not to mention having to have quarters on hand every time a wash is in order. What kind of world is this?

9:21 PM: There are two ambulances parked on the street outside my building. The flashing lights are lighting up my place. I can't tell what's going on but hope it's nothing too serious. For some reason I'm craving something sweet. I'm settling for crackers and cheese instead.

10:24 PM: Upon further review, I believe the vehicles which just left were not, in fact ambulances, but rather some kind of repair vehicles that looked a lot like ambulances. I base this on the fact that a third vehicle with some kind of cherry picker on it showed up. That being stated, all 3 just left and now I believe it's time to fall asleep to an episode of Pushing Daisies. I can't believe they cancelled such a wonderful show.

Thus concludes yet another uneventful day in the life of Scott.

Monday, August 03, 2009

National Sport of the Netherlands

The newest craze sweeping Amsterdam, and hopefully soon to be an Olympic sport is Smart Car Tossing. With a lack of cows to tip in the city, drunken youth have stumbled onto an even more exhilarating past time - picking up Smart Cars and chucking them in canals. As you might imagine, pretentious owners of these vehicles are less than amused. I do not let that stop me, however, from having a good laugh at their expense. No word yet on whether insurance rates are higher for these oversized roller skates as a result. I have to imagine that's coming though.

The Rubix Cubewich

Sure to be Shelvis' new favorite web site, I have to post about Insanewiches before he beats me to it. How insane are they you ask? Well, the Rubix Cubewich is actually one of the more standard (and edible) looking entries. Sammiches made from twinkies (not the twinkie weiner sandwich made famous by Weird Al Yankovich) or cheeseburgers with peppermint patties rather than the more traditional beef patties are not going to be on my menu any time soon. Still, it's interesting to see some of the creations. Right now I'm drooling over the Guido Torpedo - aka the "douche baguette". Not just a clever name, it looks pretty damn tasty.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Blue Angel's Practice

In what was a nice change of pace from my usual work day, on Friday the property managers handed out passes to several employees to go up on the roof of this building - Safeco Plaza - to watch the Blue Angels practice and eat a free lunch.

The food was not too good and the dj had a limited repartoir that began to loop at about 45 minutes, and it was somehow disappointing to have to hear "Danger Zone" at ear splitting levels, but it was free so how could I complain. Not to mention it was better than working and the views from up there were amazing. From this angle you can see the miniature looking Space Needle off in the distance.

Off in the hazy distance you can see downtown Bellevue.

The Blue Angels didn't get very close to the building while I was up top, but thanks to the smoke trail you can see that they did actually make an appearance.

If you look closely enough, you can see 6 Angels above the head of the girl in the pink tank top. And you can't tell because she's facing the wrong direction, but the girl in pink looks like an angel as well.

I was playing around with the panorama feature on my phone and got almost a 180 degree view facing east. I think it turned out pretty well. I just wish I could do it at a higher resolution. If you're interested, I've got a couple more pictures here.

Crazy Eric's

On Saturday I took a trip over to Bremerton to help my brother move and availed myself of the opportunity to grab lunch at Crazy Eric's. I haven't been there in years and truly wish they had a location in Seattle, or even better, on the east side somewhere.

Don't let the horrible run down appearance fool you, it has looked exactly like that for as long as I can remember but the food hasn't changed. It is a haven of unhealthy, grilled and deep fried foods. Prices have increased a bit over the years, but you can still get a good meal for relatively cheap. I'm not entirely sure what they do differently than other places, but Crazy Eric's is still the home of the best onion rings and corn dogs that money can buy. It's also tough to go there without getting a delicious shake made by hand with real ice cream.

I picked up a bacon cheeseburger, onion rings, and a corn dog and was completely satisfied, but the one complaint I had was with the staff. Since it was blistering hot and they were stuck in an un-air conditioned shack filled with ovens, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and blame it on the heat, but found them to be exceptionally slow and not entirely friendly. I won't go so far as to call them surly, but they didn't really seem happy to be there. All in all though, I'm glad I stopped by and highly recommend that anyone in the vicinity of Bremerton or Belfair grab some grub. They also have a booth at the Puyallup fair every year and I may end a several year absence in order to get my mouth around their famous giant fair burger. If I do go to the fair though I may need to finally sample the Earthquake Burger from the restaurant of the same name - something that's been on my to do list for far too long. And I can't get that without teaming it with the fault line fries. I'm getting hungry....