Friday, May 28, 2010

Quotes of the Day

The Motley Fool was kind enough to provide several great quotes today, supposedly in regards to economics, but the best ones were more about human nature in general.  Here are my favorites:

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always rely on the support of Paul." - George Bernard Shaw

"A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants." - Mark Twain

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

"Ability without honor is useless." - Cicero

"Have a great Memorial Day Weekend" - Craw Fu

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


In an attempt to limit the pain, I have watched the Mariners sparingly this year.  What I have come to realize, however, is that the only thing more painful than watching the play on field is having to hear Rick Rizzs spew the least thoughtful nicknames ever created.  There is nothing worse than just abbreviating someone's name and adding a 'y' to the end.  It's like fingernails on a chalk board every time I have to hear Ichy, Fisty, Figgy, or the two that are so stupid sounding that the literally fill me with anger - Lopey and Gutty.  Come on Rick, how about just a little bit of creativity, and for the love of all things holy, something less stupid or step aside and let somebody with more creativity take over.  Even ripping off the A-Rod method of nicknaming and coming up with F Gut (Franklin Gutierrez) or F Her (tee hee - Felix Hernandez) is a step in the right direction.  I never liked the nickname King Felix either - it's too lazy and pretentious - but I'm going to try to remain focused on the topic at hand.

The Mariners booth has become increasingly boring in general and is really making me long for the days of Ken Levine.  I wish we would bring him back before we end up with Kotchy, Vargy, Leey, Wilsy, Aardsy, etc.  But I'm not one to take the easy way out and simply criticize without offering solutions, so here are but a few that I was able to come up with on short notice.

Jose Lopez:  No Way Jose.  This would be useful every time he steps to the plate.  Imagine if you will, "the Mariners have 2 men on and need a hit here to win this game, will they get it?  No way Jose!"

Doug Fister naturally lends himself to all manner of vulgar nicknames referencing the practice of fisting, however in an attempt to keep things clean since baseball is a family sport here in Seattle, I am considering other options.  The Iron Fist I feel is pretty solid.  I'm also reminded of the karate style Kenpo which translated roughly means the Law of the Fist.  That would make a pretty damned good nickname as well.

Franklin Gutierrez is a difficult riddle to solve.  All I can come up with is Dirty Frank, and then they could play the Pearl Jam song by that name when he gets up to bat.  I'll keep you up to date with any additional nicknames as they come to me.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The Great 2010 Email Showdown

The last couple of days at work managed to provide a little bit of unexpected entertainment.  It all started Thursday afternoon.  You see, my departments email inbox is set up with an auto reply - any email sent in will immediately get the standard 'thank you for your email, we'll take care of it sooner or later'.  That's not exactly what it says, but for the purposes of the story it's close enough.  Anyway, somehow we managed to receive an email from some other department inbox with their own auto reply.  This set off a chain reaction of auto replies going back and forth fast and furious.  By the time I went home Thursday night, we were up over 700 emails in our inbox. 

Friday morning I came in and expected to hear that it had been shut down, but for some reason nobody on either side could intervene and the emails continued to pile up.  Despite the IT ticket being escalated to critical, they seemed unconcerned about the issue.  It eventually took someone a few steps up the chain of command getting in touch with a senior VP of IT to shut down Operation:  Overflowing Inbox, and by that time just short of 23,000 emails had gone back and forth. 

If my memory of the plot of the Terminator serves correctly, this is exactly how Skynet became self aware.  Luckily this time we got everything shut down before computers took over and ultimately enslaved humanity.  I still think that sooner or later I'll have my part to play in the apocalypse.  Just not yet. 

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Crazy Day

Apparently today is crazy day in downtown Seattle. I went into the library after work and there was a woman out front holding up 3 straws and screaming, "get out of my fucking face" repeatedly at nobody in particular. I walked over to the bus stop following the library to find a guy with long hair and a bushy beard looking like Howard Hughes slowly shuffling down the street in his pajamas and the same woman as before walking in circles holding up a driver's license and some other card for all to see. After a few minutes of that she went into the Bartell Drugs and started sniffing signs. I don't know if today is field trip day for one of the local mental care facilities or what, but at least I get a show today.

Ken Griffey Jr Nightcap Night

Another brilliant marketing idea has come to the mind of Craw Fu.  Ken Griffey Jr Nightcap Night!  Imagine the nightcap on the left in Mariner colors with a Mariner logo on the front and possibly an image of a napping Griffey somewhere. 

For those of you that have been asleep the last few days, there has been controversy in Seattle as Ken Griffey Jr was allegedly unavailable to pinch hit because he was asleep in the clubhouse during the game.  Rather than the denials and threats against the anonymous players who made the allegations that are currently going on, the Mariners need to have some fun with this until it all blows over.  I know that the ownership isn't known for having a sense of humor, but it's time they learn to have one.  Attendance would be huge as half the city would want this collectors item. 

Oh, and I have never used photoshop, but if anyone wants to create a mock up of Griffey wearing a nightcap in Mariner colors I would love that.

Sunday, May 09, 2010


If you're like me and don't like to shop, then this is the thing for you.  I just found out that from Costco, you can buy a one year supply of food for only $800.  I assume that it's designed with survivalists and the paranoid in mind, but it's also perfect for the lazy and antisocial.  I'm still slowly stroking my chin with my gaze up and to the left at the prospect of not having to set foot in a grocery store for an entire year. I might even save $800 a year in gas transporting myself to and from the store.  Actually, I don't think so, but it would save me a lot of time.  Enough time that I could waste on the internet.  I just wonder what the food tastes like and what is required to prepare it.  It sounds as though a great deal of it is freeze dried, so some means of rehydration would be necessary. 

Since I don't have the storage space for that much food and have no plans to build a bomb shelter, it's probably not practical but at under $3 a day, it's very economical.  I think I'm going to have to order a smaller portion to test it before going for the whole year supply.  If nothing else, it would be a cheap and easy lunch option and would save a lot of money over buying lunch each day.  Perhaps a review will be on the way if I do order something, but if anyone has tried this I'm interested to hear how it tastes and how difficult it is to prepare.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

This Week On The Internet

Shamelessly stolen from AOL who shamelessly stole it from Fark, here is a quiz of the top weird stories on the internet this week.  I got 5 out of 10, let's see anyone top that without cheating.

 1) If the Montreal police seemed less available than usual last weekend, it's because they were busy with another task. What?

a) Removing a neon orange cow from the roof of the Montreal School of the Arts
b) Taking dozens of elderly women on a pub crawl
c) Bailing out their station after an accidental gun discharge hit a water line

2) Russell Crowe took time out of his busy schedule this week to reveal that he:

a) Is considering participating in an MMA fight next year for charity
b) Lost his cell phone down a Hollywood restaurant toilet and never replaced it
c) Used to get prank phone calls from Michael Jackson

3) The television show "Glee" was criticized by sports fans recently after what?

a) The fictional high school changed all of its sports mascots to remove Indian references
b) One of the characters compared Duke to Nazis
c) A popular character who was the football quarterback revealed that he was gay

4) A regulatory agency in California this week ruled that:

a) Beer should not be classified as food
b) Strip clubs should be zoned as "entertainment exercise centers"
c) People who sit in traffic more than 20 minutes should be wearing pollution masks

5) In the eternal battle to keep their soft drinks popular around the world, Pepsi has introduced the three following actual drink flavors:

a) Fermented bean, teriyaki and mango
b) Baobab, ice cream and cucumber
c) Sour ginger, mint and banana

6) A wedding rehearsal came to a crashing halt this week after the vicar was interrupted midceremony. What happened?

a) He had to give his dog mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
b) The church was struck by lightning and part of the tower caught fire
c) Angry protesters began pelting the church with potatoes

7) This week's coach who wins the Fark award for not completely thinking his cunning plan all the way through is:

a) The assistant coach who bought his team beer, not really considering that his team consisted of 10-year-olds
b) The high school basketball coach who was ejected from a tournament and tried to slash the referee's tires, but mistook the school president's car for the referee's car
c) The lacrosse coach in Kansas who rented four hotel rooms for his students, then left for vacation

8) In addition to worrying about Icelandic ash, a disputed election in England and Greece's financial meltdown, Europe can now also be concerned about:

a) American tea party members spreading their political philosophy
b) A sudden spike in UFO sightings
c) A condom shortage

9) The military recently unveiled a bizarre new ally in the war on terror. What is it?

a) Trained rats that can locate improvised explosive devices
b) RFID-tagged pigeons whose flight patterns are monitored by the Air Force
c) Ground-up pig bladders, which help soldiers regrow lost limbs

10) The most recent intersection of food and technology can now be experienced with:

a) A company that says it has created an Internet-flavored ice cream
b) A New York restaurant that unveiled a meal prepared entirely by robots
c) The Segin robot, which has a "taste pad" for organics and a stomach-type system to break down food


1) B – As long as you can use your walker to remain upright, you're good
2) C – When the King of Pop prank calls, you answer
3) B – Apparently, Blue Nazis didn't have the same ring as Blue Devils
4) A – There is food value in beer, but no beer value in food
5) B – Nothing says refreshment quite like baobab
6) A – You kiss the bride, I'll kiss the dog
7) A – The Bad News Bears was not an instructional video
8) A -- And bring back the French Revolution too, while we're at it
9) C – This little piggy helped you regrow that missing toe
10) A – Reportedly it tastes like spam, bacon, and crushing depression

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

The Stock Market

The Dow Jones took a big nose dive today, ostensibly on concerns over European debt.  The question I have pondered over years of seeing headlines like that is who gets to decide why the market is having an off day?  How do 'they' know what is causing the market to go up or down?  As far as I know it could be in the tank today on news that Jason Vargas is pitching for the Mariners tonight meaning they will lose again.  Or maybe it's down because of all of the bad "May the 4th" Star Wars jokes cluttering up the internet today.  More likely the lousy May weather is causing the down turn.

Whatever the cause I expect a big rally tomorrow from all of the drunken investors celebrating Cinco de Mayo.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

The Great De-cluttering Has Begun

It's never until you have to move that you realize just how much useless junk you have buried way in the back of the closets and storage spaces over the years.  A full week after moving I'm still overwhelmed by the sheer volume of shtuff (that was almost a bad word, I caught myself just in time) is staggering.  My current plan is to unpack one box a day until I have something resembling a living space rather than a warehouse with paths to the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.  I am currently working on unpacking a box of delicious Keebler buttery garlic club crackers.  While they are unquestionably delicious, they don't really help with the primary goal of reduction of clutter.  On the other hand they have the distinction of being something I can unpack while typing.  I'll have to take care of a bigger box later. 

One, or I guess technically multiple items, that I need assistance with, however, are the 2 old PCs that I don't use anymore along with the boxes of peripherals that go along with them.  I've been meaning to take them down to a PC Recycle place for at least 2 years now but want to wipe the hard drives before handing them over to avoid any personal information falling into the hands of someone who is not me.  I found a freeware program called HDD Erase created by the good folks at UCSD, but the problem I am having is that I have to put it on a bootable disk or run it from DOS.  I can't quite figure out how to create a boot disk in Vista (OS on this computer) or how to run DOS, it doesn't work with just a command prompt within Windows, on my old XP machines.  Maybe I need to create the boot disk from one of the old XP machines.  Either way this is turning out to be more trouble than I want to deal with. 

Another issue I'm having is that I have approximately 2 miles of coax cable, USB cables, phone cables, RCA cables, etc that I can't bring myself to throw away because they still work.  Those things don't break, I just don't need them.  Does anyone know if any of the PC Recycle type places take cables or if there is anywhere I can donate them rather than just throw them away?  Or does anyone find themselves in need of some extra cables?  Or does anyone need an HP Deskjet printer that still works and comes with some extra ink cartridges but unfortunately uses an IEEE 1284 cable that I just can't plug it in to the new PC. 

The other thing I have a huge surplus of is bobble head dolls, lunchboxes, nesting dolls, trains, hydros, and various other Mariners memorabilia collected during my 8 year tenure as a Mariner employee.  Some of it is still in the original packaging, some isn't.  I've thought about putting it on eBay, but right now it seems like more trouble than it's worth, particularly since I doubt there is any market for some of it - is anybody really going to pay anything for a Richie Sexson or Kenji Johjima bobble head at this point?  I suppose I could take it down to one of those consignment shops but last I checked they take a huge percentage of any sales so I'm not too interested in doing that. 

Long story short, if anyone has any ideas on how to easily rid myself of some superfluous clutter, please let me know.  I can't live like this anymore.