Saturday, June 30, 2007
Now for me, the most entertaining portion of the game came when 2 middle aged women sat down in the seats next to me. That's when the Shelvis pep talk started. It started out with, "those women are so gettable. I guarantee you they are divorced and looking for some action." From there it progressed to, "A little weed and they are all yours. I've got enough in my pants right now to get you in the door."
At this point, I'd like to say for the record, that when I start looking to Shelvis for dating advice, I have officially hit rock bottom, and I hope that someone will step in and get me the help I need. That is just one step away from moving out into a shack in the woods, living like a hermit, and beginning work on my manifesto. Fear not though, when I do get to that point, I will freely share my manifesto via this blog. Stay tuned.
Anyway, back to the game. I was fortunate enough to hear the pitiful pickup attempt from a guy sitting behind me. I don't remember exactly what was said, but this is a pretty close approximation:
Pitiful Dude: You know, I build skyscrapers for a living.
Pitiful Dude: It's true, I really do build skyscrapers.
Woman: I believe you. I said cool.....
Pitiful Dude: Well, believe it or not, most women think that's pretty hot.
Woman: Uh huh.......
It was at this point that I was tempted to jump in with 'you know, I sell insurance for a living', but then I remembered, oh yeah, women aren't impressed with that. And I don't actually sell insurance. And then I'd be left in the awkward position of trying to describe what I actually do and I would come off as just as pitiful as the skyscraper builder, who I assume is actually a lowly construction worker who has worked on a high rise before.
I was also disappointed to find out that years of smoking have left Shelvis incapable of unleashing his trademark ear splitting boo anymore. For those of you who have never heard that, it was a thing of beauty. And in the old days, when the M's were only drawing 15k, the boo could be heard by everyone in the Kingdome. It was a deep, heartfelt boo that came from the diaphragm. It was so powerful that the hate and animosity were actually tangible. The reverberations would hit you, and you would actually feel the hate yourself. It's sad to know I've heard that for the last time.
Wrapping things up, I got to see the M's extend their winning streak to 6 games. I thought I might get to see a fight break out as some raucous Toronto fans got shouted down with chants of U.S.A, U.S.A., and other various taunts and threats that it's probably better if I don't repeat. I don't know why, but the Canadian fans that come down to see Toronto like to get a little drunk and rowdy, and generally piss off the usually mild mannered Mariner fans. I just enjoy seeing the M's fans get a little fired up about something. It's pretty sad that appearances by the Moose and Captain Plastic draw the most crowd attention at a lot of games.
And just remember, Shelvis: not a good role model for anyone. But thanks for going to the game with me. We'll have to hit another one before the season is up.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Also I really am into Evolution by Korn and I will even admit to liking Life Is Beautiful by Sixx AM (featuring Nikki Sixx). I know I shouldn't admit to that last one, but what the hell.
I'm tempted to get tickets to the Pain in the Grass show coming up in August. Featuring Godsmack, Buckcherry, Candlebox (who I thought had broken up long ago since I haven't heard anything from them in about a decade), the above mentioned Finger Eleven, and some other bands. Should be a pretty good show, but it's at Cheney Stadium and I'm not sure I want to drive all the way to Tacoma for that.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
It is odd that he came back to town the same weekend as The Kid (Griffey for those non-baseball jerks out there). I got to see the M's beat him twice this weekend, and hopefully will purge all memory of that Friday night debacle before long. That was easily the most horrific baseball game I've ever been to. I should have known better than to go to that game though. I thought it would be easy to hop a bus from work (in the U-district) to downtown. Well, it was all smooth sailing until we hit Stewart. And after taking almost 15 minutes to get from one stop to the next - 4 blocks away - I looked at my watch and saw it was 10 minutes to 6 and figured I better get off the damn bus and get down to a Starbucks before every coffee shop in the city closed. I've tried to get a cup of coffee at 6:05 before in downtown and know from experience that it is impossible. I hate that.
Anyway, I got off the bus at 5th and Stewart and hit the Westlake Starbucks for my caffeine fix, and then proceeded to walk to the stadium from there. Surprisingly it didn't take that long. And along the way, I got to pass through scenic Pioneer Square, where I got to see the worst looking cross dresser I've ever seen (with a nice 5 o' clock shadow going), had several exceptionally smelly transients ask me for money, and got accosted by a gang of scantily clad hot women in front of Seahawks Stadium who all wanted to 'Tag' me (spray me with Tag body spray). I politely declined, although if their advertising is true, I could have skipped the game and made out with all those women since Tag makes me irresistible to women. If I'd only known that it would all be downhill from there, I would have gladly called it a night and gone home then.
Other things that occured to me this weekend: my hatred for the Mariners management grows every time I hear Cotton Eye Joe or Don't Stop Thinkin About Tomorrow. It's just a matter of time before I hear one of those songs one too many times and erupt in a massive explosion of uncontrollable rage and go on a killing spree. Also, what the hell is the deal this year with the M's playing We Want The Funk and flashing Funk Blast on the scoreboard every time someone hits a home run? Does this make sense to anyone? What started out as odd and confusing has quickly turned irritating and confusing. This may lead to me eating a lot of burritos and dropping my own funk blast on the music director's desk.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
"Are all men from the future loud mouth braggarts?"
"Nope, just me baby."
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Now this is one cool gizmo. I should have held off getting an ipod and waited for the Archos 705 to come out. Basically a portable DVR, it comes in configurations up to a 7" screen and up to 160 GB hard drive. A hi definition display, wi-fi enabled, capable of web browsing. This has me salivating. It would sure make the bus riding experience more tolerable. So if anyone wants to know what to get me for my birthday......
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I have a hard time believing that such a weapon could be developed, or could be at all effective, but it is at least entertaining. I have to give kudos to the military for being creative. I also assume that this weapon would also make soldiers more interested in going to musicals and criticising the opposing army's fashion sensibilities than fighting.
Some more in depth coverage can be found here, and here.
This should not be confused with the movie The Nude Bomb, in which Maxwell Smart from the tv show Get Smart is called back into service in order to stop a terrorist from exploding a bomb that destroys only clothing and thus KAOS would be the world's only supplier of clothing.
Monday, June 18, 2007
As if that wasn't enough, he also has threatened to kill his ex-wife and her kids. And while I certainly don't condone steroid use, I can't help wondering why Barry Bonds gets so much negative press while guys like this jackass are relatively left alone outside of local papers. If what his ex says is true, and I don't know how it couldn't be since she saved the phone messages, this guy belongs in jail.
I know I'm beating a dead horse here, but how much of this behavior are we going to tolerate from athletes before we've finally had enough and start cracking down hard on them? I appreciate the fact that Roger Goodell is at least coming down hard on NFL players, specifically Tank Johnson and Pacman Jones, for behavioral issues, but the NBA and MLB really need to follow suit. I haven't watched an NBA game in several years because I can't stomach the fact that so much criminal behavior is overlooked. Bud Selig and David Stern are both worthless commissioners and need to go.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
At a recent trip to the grocery store, I found myself intrigued by the blue label Tillamook cheddar. What makes it so special that it get's a fancy wrapper, other than it's white cheddar? I had to find out. Well let me say that it is slightly sharper than their regular cheddar, and it is also a creamier texture. It is a more full bodied flavor. If I remember right, it was about $2 more than their standard cheddar. So while it is a little tastier in my opinion, it is not enough so to warrant the extra price. I did like it better than their black wrapper cheddar, which is even sharper, but is so crumbly that it is nearly impossible to slice.
On a completely unrelated note, I watched Ghost Rider a couple days ago and am planning a review. As a perfectionist, I don't want to write a half-assed review, and haven't really felt like sitting down and writing a full fledged review, so it may be a couple days before I get around to it. For those of you that can't wait that long though, I'll boil it all down to one word. Bad. Stay tuned.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The reward for providing said tip is that once I am rich enough to retire, I will buy the provider an ice cold beer. If that isn't incentive enough, then I don't know what is. Perhaps I will be rich enough to finance a new reality show called 'Who Wants To Make Me Rich'.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Vote for me, I have no other way to attract women.
**I really need this!
So there you have it. Anyone else who's got a better slogan, feel free to submit it. I'll put up a poll and have a little democracy right here to decide which of you has what it takes to be my campaign manager. The job doesn't pay much, but the fringe benefits make it all worthwhile.
In the United States, the first modern Father's Day celebration was held on July 5, 1908, in Fairmont, West Virginia. It was first celebrated as a church service. Grace Golden Clayton, who is believed to have suggested the service to the pastor, is believed to have been inspired to celebrate fathers, after a mine explosion in nearby Monongah, which killed 361 men, many of them fathers and recent immigrants to the United States from Italy. Father's day originates as far back as 1839, in celebration of the fathers that went to war in the Battle of Iransop in which 123 fathers lost their lives defending the outpost.
Another driving force behind the establishment of the integration of Father's Day, was Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd, from Washington. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, raised his six children alone. She was inspired by Anna Jarvis's efforts to establish Mother's Day. Although she initially suggested June 5, the anniversary of her father's death, she did not provide the organizers with enough time to make arrangements, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June. The first June Father's Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, WA.
President Calvin Coolidge recommended it as a national holiday in 1924. In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson made Father's Day a holiday to be celebrated on the third Sunday of June. The holiday was not officially recognized until 1972, during the presidency of Richard Nixon.
Other countries who also recognize the third Sunday of June as Father's day, include:
Argentina, Canada, China, France, Greece, Hong Kong, India, Ireland, Mexico and the United Kingdom.
In the Roman Catholic tradition, Father's Day is celebrated on Saint Joseph's Day, 19 March, though in most countries Father's Day is a secular celebration.
In Germany, father's day, Vatertag, is always celebrated on Ascension Day (the Thursday, forty days after Easter). Regionally, it is also called men's day, Männertag, or gentlemen's day, Herrentag.
Monday, June 11, 2007
No matter, I thought, I still had my ipod with me. I didn't have a book or magazine, but at least I could still listen to some music. Wrong again. Today was also the day that I found out that the button I had clicked on in itunes labeled 'manually manage music' had, in fact, deleted all music off my ipod. In a truly heroic move on my part, I was able to suppress the urge to shout profanities, fly into a Hulk-like rage, or generally act in a childish manner. It was at this point that I really felt like a grumpy old man who can't figure out the new fangled devices. Kind of like a nursing home resident trying to program a VCR. Fortunately, all was not lost, as my trusty ipod still contained a couple podcasts, but nearly a full day later, I am still heaping curses on Apple and swearing out a vendetta on Steve Jobs and Steve Wosniak.
What this all brings me to is yet another anti-Apple tirade. Why do they have to take good products and make me not want to use them because of their cumbersome, crappy ass, proprietary bull $h!+, in this case, itunes. I absolutely hate it. Why can't I just drag and drop files onto my ipod like I have no doubt I could with any other mp3 player on the market? Why am I forced to use the bloated, slow, unintuitive itunes? How has Apple managed to maintain their nearly 3% marketshare in the PC world with such irritating products? Yes I realize that the last statement is almost completely unrelated, but my blinding hatred of Apple knows no logic.
I presume that Apple is completely in the pocket of the RIAA, and that's why I am forced to use itunes, so I can't throw songs on my ipod from my computer in my bedroom, plug it into my computer in my living room and throw some more songs on it, plug it into my computer at work and throw some more songs on it, plug it into a friends computer, or even Devon's computer and throw some more songs on it, etc...... But, to be honest, I haven't tried accessing my ipod through Windows media player. MS may yet come through and save the day. We'll see, but I'm not holding out much hope. So, I will end this rant by saying, if you buy Apple products, the terrorists win.
“To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to,” Ichiro said through an interpreter. “If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.”
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
But I digress. This particular guy is a 6'7" 225 pounder with a 96 mph fast ball named Phillippe Aumont. Of course the Mariners were thrilled and shocked that he dropped all the way to their spot in the draft (11th this year) just like they are every year. It doesn't matter who it is, it's always the same story, "we couldn't believe he was still available". Anyway, he's 18, and they claim he is about the same level as a junior college player, or a rookie level minor leaguer. I would guess we'll see him in spring training in about 2 years, and probably in Tacoma shortly after that. The Mariners have really been rushing guys through the minors since Bavasi took over, so there's the chance that if he's still healthy in 2-3 years, we might start hearing talk of calling him up.
The one other interesting tidbit mentioned down at the end of the article is that the Mariners drafted Denny Almonte in the 4th round. For the briefest of moments after reading that, I thought they had picked up Danny Almonte, the kid who lied about his age to throw a perfect game in the little league world series a few years back. No dice though.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
And it's not just televised fighting. Youtube is littered with clips of people beating each other up. I really don't see how it is that so many people enjoy watching people inflict pain on each other. And yet on the other hand, I really enjoyed the short lived tv show Max X which was chock full of stupid people hurting themselves doing stupid things. So maybe I'm just hypocritical. Either way, I'll still politely decline the inevitable invitation to go hang out with friends every time Chuck Liddell fights.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
I'm also very excited to say that my brother, aka 'The Boy' has put his home in Dearborn on the market and is officially escaping Michigan. He will be back in the Bremerton area by the end of the month, thus ending his exile into the land of long cold winters, no mountains, crazy people who want to shoot or stab you, etc. On a side note, having been to both Detroit and Oakland, I'm not sure which is worth. What I do know is that the farther you can get from either, the better off you are. Anyone looking for a house in Dearborn should go check this one out.