Wednesday, October 27, 2010

When It Rains, It Pours

...and this isn't even a post about the weather.  With all that's been going on in my life recently, I just can't help wondering what's next.  About a week and a half ago I received a jury summons, which with all the time off of work I've had lately I really don't see how I can possibly squeeze into my schedule.  Luckily I've got a good excuse.  Last week my doctor told me that my recovery isn't going as well as hoped and I have to have surgery again next week.  My range of motion in my knee seems to be stuck at 85 degrees, so I get to go under the knife again and have scar tissue removed.  Thankfully this can all be done arthroscopically so it is not nearly as intense or invasive and should only put me out of commission for 2 weeks.  I guess I have to have a set back before I can make any more progress.

Friday night I kept hearing sirens going up and down my street.  It seemed like about every 10 minutes for 2 hours another emergency vehicle would go by.  It wasn't until the next day that I found out that there was a 2 alarm fire in one of the buildings in my condo complex.  It was way on the other side of the property so there was no danger of it spreading to my building.  But the interesting part of the story was that police were already on the scene responding to a bomb threat.  I've had my arguments with the office staff before but I'm going on record now stating that I made no threats.

Finally, or perhaps not finally, my bike was stolen out of my parking spot either Saturday night or Sunday morning.  I'm obviously not going to be riding a bike any time soon and to be honest never did ride much so it's not a big deal.  It's just disappointing because I thought I lived in a better neighborhood than that.  So sooner or later I expect something good to start happening in order to make up for all this crap.  I'm just hoping that it's sooner rather than later.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Black Rain

Ah Soundgarden, how I missed you.  I heard the new single Black Rain on 104.9 for the first time today and it is simply awesome.  I haven't heard Chris Cornell wail like this in years.  It was a crime to deny the world this musical talent for so long.  Sure, Audioslave had some ok songs, but this just blows them all out of the water.  And what's more:  the incredibly bizarre video which accompanies the new song is available in glorious HD.  Watch it now, don't wait another minute.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Poetic Justice

This video clip almost had me believing in karma for a minute and then I remembered that it's simply poetic justice, karma doesn't exist.  Still, keep in mind that this is what happens when you send inappropriate text messages.  And what's worse, all of your team mates will go about their business as usual and not be the slightest bit concerned that you are writhing in pain on the ground.

If only Brett Favre could have made the same sound effect as below it would be comedy gold.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Back On My Feet

Today I did something that I haven't done in two and a half months, and to be honest I wasn't completely sure I'd ever be able to do again.  I walked without crutches.  And even though I'm a little out of practice, I remember it being a whole lot easier.  I've been crutch-walking for a couple weeks now as I've slowly worked my weight bearing up and that was pretty easy.  But with no crutches at all it takes a lot of focus and a lot of effort to keep from falling over.  It is pretty alarming how much muscle mass I've lost - my right leg looks like I have polio - so it takes all the strength that I can will in order to walk.  And in addition to having cadaver parts in me, I now shuffle along and groan when I walk like Frankenstein too so I guess there's no question what my Halloween costume will be.  It's pretty nice to be able to carry my own coffee cup now though and I'm sure that my strength will start to return pretty quickly. 

Also I decided to get behind the wheel today for the first time since my injury.  I only drove down to the condo gym and never got above 15 mph but it was a lot more enjoyable than hobbling down there on crutches.  And again, progress is good.  I'm not confident that I could react quickly enough in an emergency so I'll stick to the condo property for now.  But driving on the street doesn't seem to far off anymore.

Quote of the Day

"Saying things like “I just don’t have time to watch television” only makes you sound like a jerk."

I saw this little gem over at Woot in regards to a DVR.  So don't be a jerk and go watch some more television.

Thursday, October 07, 2010


A wiser man than myself once said, "life is one crushing defeat after another until you just with Flanders was dead."  Truer words have never been spoken.  That's why, when life decides to throw you a bone it's cause for celebration.  So gather around one and all as I regale you with the heart warming tale of the 3 bags of chips. 

This Thursday began as a day like any other.  Actually that's not really true, it began as a pretty miserable day (which I guess is like any other day) but I decided to be a bit poetic.  It sounds better that way don't you think.  But I digress.  This afternoon, during my customary coffee break, I felt a might peckish and looked into the vending machine to see if anything struck my fancy.  Nothing did, however an unprecedented opportunity presented itself.  Wedged up against the glass of the machine were 3 bags of chips.  Clearly others had attempted the traditional jostling of the machine to no avail. 

Examining the situation from many angles and doing some rudimentary calculations, factoring in friction, gravity, wind velocity, inertia, and so on, I decided it was time for a gamble.  I knew full well that putting my money into that machine might very well result in a 4th trapped bag but I also knew that fortune favors the bold.  As you can plainly see, fate was on my side this day.  Had I selected the wrong bag of chips this endeavor would undoubtedly have failed, but I chose wisely.  While the 4th bag (the one I actually paid for) got stuck, it did manage to dislodge the other 3.  Not one to be greedy or look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, I rejoiced in my triumph and was happy to leave a 2nd bag for the next person who would come along.  As I sat at my desk, fingers oranged by cheese dust, I contemplated this glorious occurrence and decided that this is unquestionably the best thing to ever happen to me at work. 

And for those of you scoring at home, the illustrious hand model seen here is none other than the famous Ace - his nearly severed thumb having healed nicely.  In the spirit of full disclosure, Ace was offered payment of one bag of chips for both witnessing the event for posterity and for services rendered as a hand model but turned down the generous offer. 

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


I know that a black cat crossing your path is very bad luck.  Last night, however, I had a raccoon cross my path while a menacing swan followed me honking and flapping it's wings.  Is that bad or good luck?  Or possibly indifferent luck?  I suppose it was good luck since neither of the animals attacked me, and for those of you who are thinking that a swan can't be menacing, know this:  they are large enough that their heads are at a very convenient crotch biting height.  I've never had a swan take a poke at my junk and I'd like to keep it that way.  I've met a few people that have been attacked by water fowl and I've been told that geese in particular can inflict some pain if they bite you.  Since swans are bigger I assume they can inflict just as much pain.  I got off on a bit of a tangent there, but feel free to weigh in on the luckiness or a raccoon and a swan crossing your path.

Magazine Turds

The first thing I do whenever I get a new magazine is thumb through and fish out all of the postcards inside for subscribing or various advertising.  It gets in the way, it's annoying, and it's completely useless.  Does anybody actually look at them?  I assume someone must or they wouldn't keep putting them in there, but I never even look at them.  The worst offender, at least that I subscribe to, seems to be the Smithsonian.  I enjoy the magazine, but I opened up the most recent issue and had to tear out no less than a dozen of those before I could move on to actually reading the magazine.  That is the very definition of excessive.  I can't imagine that anything I could say to the publishers would have any effect, so instead I do what I do best, go online and complain about it.  If anyone has a better plan, preferably one that doesn't involve any amount of effort since I'm pretty lazy, I'm interested in hearing it.  This will not be tolerated any longer!  Unless of course I have no choice but to tolerate it or stop reading magazines.  I suppose getting a Kindle or some e-reader and downloading electronic copies would be a solution, I just don't particularly want an e-reader.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Feed My Frankenstein

I was watching the latest episode of Chuck on my DVR on Saturday and they played Alice Cooper's Feed My Frankenstein which has been stuck in my head since.  I don't think I've heard that song since Wayne's World was new and had to look up the video online.  That's when I noticed something I never noticed before.  I swear that's Nuno Bettencourt playing guitar up on stage.  I've never heard that Nuno played with Alice Cooper and don't know if it was just this one song for the movie or what the story is.  I did some googling to see if I was imagining things, afterall his hair is covering his face a lot and he's not playing his signature model Washburn N4.  I found one message board with someone saying it's Nuno along with Marty Friedman.  I hadn't picked up on Marty in the video at all.  Anyway, I swear that's Nuno but it's a surprise to see him with Alice Cooper.  Wikipedia says that Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Nikki Sixx play on the album version but it certainly isn't them in the video.