Thursday, January 27, 2011

Actors and Politicians

Over the years several actors have made the transition to political careers.  Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse Ventura, Al Franken, Sonny Bono to name a few.  Some have been more successful than others.  But I got to thinking today, we've got another election coming up in 2012, which actor would you like to see toss his or her hat into the ring and start a presidential campaign?  The only rules to this discussion are that the actor has to be eligible to be elected, which means even though Salma Hayek is very pretty, you can't vote for her because she wasn't born in the United States.  And even though Haley Joel Osment might have some interesting ideas about capital gains taxes and immigration, you can't vote for him because he's underage.  Oh, and you can't nominate any Baldwins, particularly Alec.  They are all half (or more) insane, not to mention annoying.  I'll start things off by suggesting Harrison Ford since he did a respectable job of playing the president in Air Force One. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Newest Eco-Hero

Men and women whose primary concern is the environment have crowned a new hero.  If you said this new role model was Genghis Khan, give yourself a gold star. 
Temujin, as he was originally known, along with his Mongol horde massacred an estimated 40 million people according to the recent research removing 700 million tons of carbon from the atmosphere in the process and thereby cooling the earth.  This has made him the new template for the next Green Party candidate.  If Ralph Nader is unable to step up his game and make some campaign promises to end global warming by eradicating the world of it's most lethal enemy - humans - he will be unable to secure the party nomination.  And so it is that I plan on profiting off of this by creating Genghis Khan t-shirts and tapping into the lucrative ignorent hipster market currently dominated by Che Guevara shirts. 
I envision them looking something like this. 

Or maybe this, although I personally prefer my design.  Investors looking to become wealthy beyond their wildest dreams can begin sending me money now.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Bob's Burgers

As a longtime fan of The Simpsons and Futurama, The Tick and Dr. Katz:  Professional Therapist, I'm always willing to give an animated series a try.  Of course there are terrible animated shows out there like South Park and Family Guy, so it is with a reasonable amount of trepidation that I approach new animated shows.  I should have been more careful with Bob's Burgers, it's terrible.  It is just one more low brow show relying on juvenile humor.  One episode was enough for me.  One and done.

Cutest Season

After realizing I was developing a crush on the absolutely adorable Autumn Reeser of the show No Ordinary Family where she plays a nerdy scientist whose super power is being super cute, and also realizing that Summer Glau (Firefly, Serenity, Terminator: The Sarah Connors Chronicles, The Cape) is also quite attractive, I got to thinking, naming a girl after a season seems like a pretty good idea based upon the evidence at hand.  I will admit that I've never seen a film or television show featuring Winter Ave Zoli, and it took a little while to find an actress named Spring, but I found one. So there you have it, which season makes for the cutest girl?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

She's Only 17

The new Miss America that is.  She's the youngest winner in the history of the pageant
She played the piano during the competition, discussed combating eating disorders, and has plans to go to law school and hopes of one day becoming a politician.  And still, when I saw the article, the only things I could think were, "I'll show you love like you've never seen" and, "Daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me." 

Oh, and also congratulations to Miss Washington contestant Jacquie Brown for overcoming a tragically mis-spelled name and finishing in the top 5.  I believe she ran on a platform of battling illiteracy.

Veridian Dynamics

I've decided that I'd like to work at a company like Veridian Dynamics.  Unfortunately it's a fictional company so I'll never have the opportunity, but there must be a real company like it that makes a difference in the world and provides a satisfying work experience.  The downside is that Veridian Dynamics is the company that Ted works at in the show Better Off Ted and it reminds me it is one more in a long line of quality shows that I liked that was canceled unjustly.  Do the right thing ABC, bring it back.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I would like to share a few food products which I tried recently that were delicious and get the coveted Craw Fu seal of approval.  First were the Roasted Gorgonzola Oven Crisps from Trader Joes.  These crackers were full of cheesy goodness and are tasty with some meat and cheese or just by themselves.
Next up was the wedge of Wensleydale cheese with cranberries that I received for Christmas.  I would never have thought that mixing cranberries with cheese would work so well, but once you start eating it, it is very difficult to stop.  I would recommend with some water crackers and apple cider.

Finally are the dark chocolate covered acai berries.  I don't feel I need to go into any detail about how good these are.

I would recommend picking up all of these products and having a wonderful new year.  They would make great snacks while watching playoff football.

Saturday, January 08, 2011


Last night I dreamt that someone had put all of my socks in my underwear drawer and all of my underwear in my sock drawer.  This made me very angry until I awoke, remembered that I keep my socks and underwear in the same drawer, then went back to sleep. 

This dream is now officially open to interpretation.  Is it about a lack of control over my life that my subconscious is concerned about?  Does it mean that deep down I don't feel that delicates are given the proper respect in today's society?  Discuss:

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

...has got to be the weirdest movie I've ever seen.  The only way I can describe it is that it's like watching a video game.  Complete with power ups and special moves.  It is just too damned weird.  I'm not sure you can properly enjoy it if you're older than 15.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

The A-Team

I'm sure you all know the story by now:  In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The A-Team.

Well, that was then,

and this is now.

The story has been nicely updated to the present day with the crack commando unit operating in the Gulf War instead of the Vietnam War.  The other great change from the original is that bullets hit people now.  In 5 seasons of the television show I think one guy got shot.  But not all changes were welcome.  In the original, Colonel Hannibal Smith is in disguise in every episode.  Not one disguise in the movie.  Boo.  Also, I only remember one car flipping over in the movie.  That happened all the time in the show. 

Ok, ok, I know - you want to know if the movie was watchable, not how similar it is to the original.  The verdict is that it's decent.  It's certainly not going to win any Oscars, but if you're in the mood for a fun action movie with a lot of explosions, then this fits the bill.  I was pleasantly surprised by the acting job turned in by Rampage Jackson, but you'd think that with a former UFC champion in the cast that they could manage to choreograph a decent fight, but every one of them is filmed at close range with a shaky hand held camera so you can't see what's going on.  What a waste. 

The plot was a little thin, but what can you expect from an action movie?  It was adequate and told the back story that was summarized in the opening credits of the TV show.  It also left the door open for a sequel, but I don't know if the film was successful enough to warrant a sequel. 

The biggest problem I had with The A-Team, however, was with the special effects.  For a big budget film, this was simply unforgivable.  A couple of times, most notably the container ship scene toward the end, look unrealistic and really pull you out of the moment.  When you don't really immerse yourself in the nuances of an action film anyway, you can't skimp on your bread and butter.

As long as you don't expect more from this movie than a lot of action, gun fire, and explosions, then you won't be too disappointed.  So grab a bucket of popcorn and enjoy.