Monday, August 25, 2008
Movies in hand, I got home to find a 65" 1080p LCD tv on woot for only $2300. It took every ounce of willpower I could muster to not order one of those. Luckily for my bank account, the danger has past and they are all gone. But I'm still convinced that forces are conspiring against me to empty my wallet with every HD deal on the planet. I'm only a man, I can only resist so much.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
This narrowly beat out my own personal one liner of the night, not just because he's a hall of fame broadcaster, but also because far more people got to hear his line. During the exciting Mariner game, we switched one of the tvs over to the Olympics and were watching the women's 4x400 relay. I believe it was the third leg of the relay when the US runner grabbed the baton and started pulling away from the rest of the field. Somebody said something along the lines of 'look at her go' or 'she's really pulling away' or something to that effect, I don't really remember because that's not the important part of the story. I immediately looked into my bag of tricks and pulled out, "she's running like I just asked her out on a date." Sadly only one person heard that and my efforts were only rewarded with one laugh. But I'll take it. All too often my best one liners are for my amusement alone.
Friday, August 22, 2008
That's my request for you Mr. Molitor. Get a side car and paint some flames on the side. Or lightening bolts would be acceptable as well. If I see you cruising with Hello Kitty stickers on it though, I will chase you down and beat you up.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
I will never understand the Hollywood tradition of characters in horror movies being tragically stupid. The entire film has you thinking, "don't do that you idiot" only to have them do exactly what they shouldn't. I really don't think I can tolerate that at all anymore. But at least the vampires are cool, right? Sadly, no. The head vampire is a mouth breather who spends the entire film with a look of confusion on his face. And he speaks some presumably ancient vampire dialect that sounds like it could be Inuit or some other native language despite the fact that he's exceptionally pale. The rest of the vampires are unable to speak and only shriek in what sounds like velociraptor sound effects. They have the appearance of some emo kids with fake teeth and some facial applications to make them look slightly deformed. And not only do they rip off the Jurassic Park sound effects, they also seem to be doing their best to model their movements after raptors as well. Well, a combination of raptors and runway models posing and mugging for the camera anyway. Scary? Hardly.
One thing that really bothered me, probably more than it should have, is that though they were in the arctic circle in the dead of winter, all the characters spent extended periods of time outdoors with nothing covering their faces, and often no gloves, and yet none of them got frostbite and rarely did they even shiver. It's the kind of little detail that I just seem to be unable to get past as a viewer - almost as bad as somebody leaving the refrigerator door open and all I miss several minutes of the plot obsessing over why they won't close the damn door. But forcing myself past that, I'll wrap things up by saying that the script and story were terrible. Josh Hartnett was the only actor I'd heard of, although I recognized one actor as Sgt Gordon's corrupt partner from Batman Begins. And with the exception of Hartnett, the acting was bad. Just all around a very bad movie that I can't really think of anything good to say about. It was even worse than the regrettable Lost Boys 2.
I'll try and purge that movie from my memory by talking about the decent film Merry Christmas or Joyeux Noel if you prefer the original French title. It is based on the true story of the Christmas Truce during World War I. In 1914, the French, Scottish, and German troops ceased hostilities, came out of the trenches and shared meals, sang carols, played soccer, exchanged contact information in case they lived through the war, and held impromptu church services.
I don't know too much of the history of the truce, so I don't know how accurate the film is. I do know that the story was well written and had both heart wrenching moments and heart warming moments. It reminded you that despite wars and hatred filling the world, people are still capable of civility toward each other. It really was uplifting. And if you're worried about it being a foreign film, worry not. Each group speaks their native language. The Germans speak German, the French speak French, and the Scottish speak Scottish which is similar enough to English that you should be able to understand most of it with little difficulty.
But I digress. Not only is she exceptionally beautiful and a world class athlete, she is from Seattle! That means that in the unlikely event that I bump into her somewhere around town, I can get rejected in person.
I played a little goal keeper myself growing up. I don't know how Hope got roped into it, but if she's anything like me, what happened was that the regular goalie got hurt, I volunteered to fill in because I wanted to try something new, and then it turned out I was pretty good at it and even though I didn't want to play goalie any more, I couldn't get out of it. Whatever the circumstances, she's way better than I ever was and is capable of easily blocking any attempt of mine to score.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
In a 1977 court hearing, McKinney said she had fallen in love with the man in
Utah and followed him to the UK. "I loved him so much," she told a judge, "that
I would ski naked down Mount Everest in the nude with a carnation up my nose if
he asked me to."
But it turns out the story doesn't end there. It has also come out that this same woman is suspected of plotting a burglary in order to procure funds for a prosthetic leg for a horse. I had given her the creepy label just based upon the initial irrational behavior I had heard about and the truly disturbing photos I've seen of her. I still have great difficulty seeing pictures of her without experiencing feelings of great unease. I think at this point that it is just a matter of time until she is placed in an institution, at this point I'm not sure whether to say penal or mental, at which point the question of what will become of her dogs will come into play. It would be rather ironic if the dogs ended up being put to sleep. There may be some difficulty finding a home for them.
I will leave you with the following excerpt:
David Crockett, Miss McKinney's lawyer in the Tennessee
case, described Miss McKinney, who lived in North Carolina at the time, as
"a rather bizarre character, and seems to have a strange circumstance
"She is bold to put herself on worldwide television," he said. "She
must know she's a fugitive in at least one state."
He recalled she had two or three dogs in her car when she met him to
speak about her case. "There was a strong aroma about her, and I told her this
needed to be taken care of before I went to court with her."
Let me just say that I am amused by her hiring Davey Crockett, in the state of Tennessee no less, where according to the song the historical Davey Crockett was born in the woods. I am also curious as to precisely what aroma she had. I would assume alcohol, but with the twists and turns this story has already taken, I can't assume anything at this point. Finally, Davey must not be a very good attorney if he is going to the press with damaging information about his own client, unless perhaps he is working on an insanity plea.
This doesn't come as much of a surprise, but I had hoped that with some physical evidence, they were at least going to be a little more serious. Since they wont seem to open it up to scientific scrutiny, however, it seems highly dubious, and if the press conference is any indication, the situation has quickly turned into a joke. I had really hoped for a more elaborate hoax, so I'm more than a little disappointed. I guess I'll have to focus my attention on the recent chupacabra sightings down in Texas (not to be confused with el chupanibre). I wonder if those would make good pets.
On this day (August 18):
1227 - The Mongol emperor Ghengis Khan died.
1868 - French astronomer Pierre Jules César Janssen discovers helium. (Where would we be without helium?)
1920 - Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution ratified, guaranteeing women's suffrage. (Isn't it time we ended the suffering?)
1962 - Ringo Starr made his first appearance as a Beatle at a Cavern Club show.
1969 - Jimi Hendrix plays the unofficial last day of Woodstock.
1977 - The Police play their first gig.
1977 - Funeral services for Elvis Presley were held at Graceland.
1982 - The longest baseball game played at Wrigley Field in Chicago, IL, went 21 innings before the Los Angeles Dodgers defeated the Cubs 2-1.
Born on this day:
1750 - Antonio Salieri (composer purported to have killed Mozart according to the movie Amadeus)
1774 - Meriwether Lewis
1904 - Max Factor (not to be confused with Max Power)
1917 - Caspar Weinberger
1933 - Roman Polanski
1934 - Roberto Clemente
1936 - Robert Redford
1956 - Jon "Bermuda" Schwartz (drummer for Weird Al's band)
1969 - Ed Norton
1969 - Christian Slater
1972 - Scott Crawford (founder of the Craw Fu martial art style)
1980 - Jeremy Shockey
1992 - Frances Bean Cobain
Other items of interest:
3 popes have died on this day (Adrian V, Alexander VI, and Paul IV)
It is International Lighthouse Day and Long Tan Day (also called Vietnam Veterans' Day) in Australia.
The History Channel has this lovely video in my honor.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
But as funny as that is, it pales in comparison to this story about Barack Obama's hillbilly half-brother Cooter.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
And I still don't know what it is that causes my text formatting to go all to hell sometimes when I have multiple pictures, but I don't have the time or inclination to find a way to fix it tonight. Also, if you can't tell, the van below has a sweet picture of Darth Vader and the Death Star on it. There is a better picture of it here, but I'm not going to try to add it lest I really wreak havoc on my formatting. And why is the spell checker telling me that biodiesel and diamond are misspelled? This thing really doesn't impress me at times.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Nobody would upload one of my favorite songs - perhaps my favorite Sevendust song - and so I had to do it myself. This live version of Too Close To Hate is the best version I've heard. It's got so much more energy than the album version. There's also a live acoustic version on the album Southside Double-Wide that's pretty good and perhaps I'll have to upload that one day for comparison/contrast purposes, but until then enjoy this one. And be sure to get your tickets for Pain in the Grass on 8/23 to see Sevendust perform this and other favorites with the likes of Queensryche and Drowning Pool. I have to work that day but am considering quitting my job to attend.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Corner #1: Tully's
Corner #2: Starbucks
Corner #3: Peet's
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Of course, they claim that it's all the new super suits that provide all the unprecedented speed. For $550 it sure as hell be super fast though. Back in my day, I did it the old fashioned way - with an embarrassingly small suit. With my natural ability though, 3 or 4 super suits and maybe a bionic arm still wouldn't have helped me much.
As always, your best bet is to watch CBC for most of your Olympics needs. It's not in HD, but you'll be able to see events 12 hours before the US channels show them and win some money from your dumber friends. I am happy, however, that so far more airtime has been devoted to actual coverage rather than the typical 75% behind the scenes/human interest stories that prior Olympics have gone with. Hopefully they've finally given up on that.
Wow, the mens 4 x 100 swimming relay was amazing. The US just barely edged out France for the gold and a new world record. Gold medal #1 for Michael Phelps. He still has a chance to get 8.
I really want to reboot my DVR after this experience, but to do that I'd have to boot it a first time, and I think if I did that I might have to buy a new one. Since Comcast charges me a monthly fee for it, I wonder if I can get a month free or some other compensation if I complain enough. I sure would like Comcast a lot more if they gave me something other than irritation. Somehow I doubt that's going to happen though.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Apparently gorillas have developed the ability to sing opera and perform show tunes. Here a young gorilla can be seen singing the smash hit "Tomorrow" from the Broadway show Annie. It is believed that this is a defense mechanism. The rest of the animal kingdom is frightened away by the gorillas breaking into song and dance for no apparent reason. It's a confusion technique that leading animal behaviorists say has been developed in a remarkably short period of time.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Anyway, it was at this point in the story when I said, "if I could have pulled my hands from covering my nose for long enough, I think I would have stabbed him." At this point things really began to get entertaining.
PGT immediately chimed in with, "was it Eastern European B.O.?"
PGT: "Indian subcontinent B.O.?"
Me: "at least that bad"
PGT: "Soviet B.O.?"
Me: "That would be a great band name."
Long story short, we are now forming a fake band by the name of Soviet B.O. PGT has already staked his claim to the cowbell and triangle duties. I think I might take over keytar duties. We have successfully recruited one more member who has yet to announce his duties. I don't know if we will put on any fake shows, create a fake web site in order to have yet one more venue for hot chicks to ignore us, or if we will lose interest in a few days and announce our fake break up. What I do know for certain are 2 things: 1. no other band has already taken that name so we will not be forced to change it. 2. With a name that good, we are sure to be a monstrous success.
And so I beg all the egomaniacs in the sports world to step it up and free us poor fans from the merciless onslaught of the Favre industrial complex. Right now I'm offering a tray of cold cuts and a six pack of Heineken to the first man who will knock Favre off the front page. I can't begin to tell you how sick I am of hearing how he loves the game more than anyone in the history of the league. How he's overcome so much thanks to his unparallelled love of the game - from the hurricane threatening his home down in Louisiana that was vacant at the time, to the time he fought through a bad cold and still was able to make it onto the field and throw 3 interceptions, and even the time he couldn't find his kids in the supermarket. Enough already, I'd rather hear about hockey at this point. Honest to God, hockey. And you know how much I hate hockey.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Yes, I realize that loving a pet is completely natural, and I had some childhood pets that died and I did mourn the loss of. But death is a part of life, and the inability some people seem to have to cope with it really disturbs me. I sure hope that pet cloning never becomes mainstream, and certainly not human cloning.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Despite the steady decline in quality, the previews of the newest iteration - Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - looked pretty good to me. Perhaps I was blinded by the special effects, but I thought that the series was turning things around. Adding Jet Li and the beautiful Maria Bello and Michelle Yeoh I thought added some credibility. But it turns out I was mistaken. As you can see from the tomato meter to the right, a whopping 9% of critics thought it was watchable. That is a dismal enough score that I'm not sure I want to even waste the time watching it when it is released on DVD. The harshest review actually says "Makes me miss Uwe Boll." Ouch!
I'm a little disappointed as I had hoped this would be enjoyable, and perhaps this movie will be retitled: Tomb of Brendan Fraser's Career.
Some people might consider dialing 911 because you are unhappy with your sub to be over reacting. But when I saw this headline, my immediate thought was that it was my coworker who returned from lunch on Friday complaining about unwanted honey mustard. But as I read on, I learned that this occurred in none other than Florida - home of all manner of lunacy.
Here in the great state of Washington, when you wander into your local Subway and come to the grim realization that on this day your sammich will be assembled by the surly Latin girl with a limited grasp of English (to this day I've never heard her speak a word of English, she just points at things and glares at me as she awaits my yes or no. PGT claims that he witnessed her uttering the words, "I understand honey mustard" after telling her he wanted deli mustard, not honey mustard) you simply take your sammich and go, and perhaps grumble to whoever will listen. We certainly don't dial 911 a second time to ask why officers still have not arrived on the scene to square away your lunch issues.
But this story has a happy ending. After becoming belligerent and being locked out of the store, the unhappy patron was not calmed by the eventual arrival of police, and certainly not soothed at all when he realized that he was the one being arrested and that his precious sammiches were thrown away. Although I find that last part to be a little disappointing. The arresting officer could have enjoyed that sammich. So let this be a lesson to you, don't be an idiot, and if you must be an idiot, don't call the police and notify them of your idiocy.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
This will be so severe that everything West of the Cascades will just break off and float out into the Pacific Ocean. Only one hearty soul will be able to survive all of this, and that will be me. I will proclaim myself king of my new island kingdom. My first duties as king will be to procure cable tv and high speed internet access. I will then set forth to increase the population by making arrangements to import some beautiful women. The immigration restrictions are pretty strict and only the cream of the crop will be accepted.
And this is exactly why I shouldn't post at night. I don't have a great deal of focus normally, but once it starts getting late and I start winding down, keeping my mind focused on anything is nearly impossible. It wanders where it pleases. But I give you my solemn oath that this will be absolutely the last time I allow myself to do something like this. Tonight. All bets are off tomorrow.
And it is at this point that I would like to include this disclaimer: it should be noted that I do not have children and have no plans of ever having any. Come to think of it, maybe it's for the best if there is a 50' radius between myself and anyone under 12. Once they hit 13, anything goes. I don't know if there's a person alive who wouldn't agree that teens need a good beating from time to time. It's good for the psyche.
Before I got off on that little tangent there, I wanted to mention that while I don't think one study will do the trick, if we get enough there's still hope that we might halt the pansification* of the world's youth.
*pansification - the act of becoming a pansy - is a word created by the Craw Fu Corporation, your leader in made up words.
And in what has become a tradition in grisly murders, someone was immediately on hand to say what a great guy the murder was and what a surprise it is. Usually it's a neighbor with the typical, "he was a quiet man, kept to himself, was always polite....." This time it was his boss who chimed in with:
Li's employer said in an interview Saturday that he was shocked to learn
that his "model employee" had been accused of the grisly attack. Vincent Augert,
an independent contractor who distributes newspapers in Edmonton, said that Li
was one of his most reliable carriers.
"He was very punctual and always cleanly dressed," he told The
Associated Press. "He was a very nice, polite guy. We would've had no reason to
let him go before all this happened."
Just once I'd like to hear someone just come out and say, "I knew something was wrong with that guy. I tried to warn the police." And FYI for everyone out there, I could also be described as punctual, cleanly dressed, very nice, and polite. I have no plans to ever eat "long pork" though.
Friday, August 01, 2008
I think that by the end of September, 3 of the top 5 will have lost a game and will be down in the teens somewhere. And the real tragedy of it all is that the UW is not in the top 25. Just because they have been terrible for 5 years in a row doesn't mean that this isn't the year they turn things around. Believe in the power of Jake Locker.