The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Just when I thought I'd received all my Christmas gifts, I opened the mailbox today to find one last thoughtful gift from the King County District Court - a jury summons. The notice tells me that it is a privilege to serve jury duty, so I will have to make sure to thank everyone down at the courthouse for such a wonderful opportunity. But wait, there's more! In addition to this privilege, I will receive the princely sum of $10 a day! What an honor.

I haven't gotten a summons in many years now, so I guess I've been dodging this bullet for a while. I was really getting annoyed with the repeated summons I received in my late teens and early 20's, so I guess I've earned a couple years off. Now I'm just hoping I get a high profile case so that I can land a book deal when it's all over.

NFL Playoff Predictions

It's that time of year again for me to make my playoff predictions, although they are less predictions than they are advanced knowledge of events that have yet to come to pass.

In the wild card weekend, the Seahawks will obviously win big over the Redskins. The offense will be too much for the Redskins to handle, and the defense will get a lot of pressure on Todd Collins and force some turnovers. In the other NFC game, the Giants will knock off the Buccaneers, and in the AFC Jacksonville will walk all over Pittsburgh and San Diego will beat Tennessee.

In the next round, I the Seahawks will travel to Green Bay enjoy some cold weather, beat the Packers, and possibly kill Brett Favre, although maybe they will only end his career. Either way, you heard it here first - the last game of Favre's career will be a loss to Seattle. The Giants will travel to Dallas where they will be handily beaten by the Cowboys. Over in the AFC, the Jaguars will lose to the mighty Patriots, and the Colts will take down the Chargers. This loss will result in Norv Turner losing his job.

On to the conference championships where Seattle will stun the Dallas crowd. It will be another heartbreaking loss for the Cowboys, and once again Tony Romo will cry on national TV. The Colts will blow a late lead to the Patriots and after the game Peyton Manning will blame the loss on a poor effort by the defense and a lack of protection from his offensive line.

This brings us to the Superbowl. The hype surrounding the Patriots will be nauseating, and Tom Brady will be crowned king of Boston. He will then impregnate half the women in Boston during the week leading up to the big game, and all of that exertion will leave him at less than 100% on gameday. The stage will then be set for the greatest Seahawks victory of all time - or at least until the Superbowl next year. The loss will cause a wave of mass suicides in Boston, and Ben Afflek will produce and star in a box office bomb full of conspiracy theories regarding who threw the game, which refs were paid off, which spies stole the Patriots playbook and game plan, etc. Meanwhile, back in Seattle, a parade will be hastily thrown together to honor the triumphant Seahawks, and it will rain. Employees all around the area will be given the day off to celebrate. People in my company will be given a "jeans day" to celebrate. It will be glorious.

So there you have it. That is exactly how things will play out. There is no point in even questioning it. Just try to act surprised when it happens.

Circuit City Made The List

The enemies list that is. I received a copy of the Simpsons Movie for Christmas that I knew was from Circuit City since there was a sticker on the cover touting the exclusive Circuit City content contained within. Well, I was given the full screen addition and thought that exchanging it for the wide screen edition would be a pretty easy task. It turns out I was mistaken. I can't believe I'm the first person to ever try to exchange something shortly after Christmas without a receipt, but it sure seemed that way. To the best of my recollection, the conversation I had with the young girl behind the counter went like this:

Me: I'd like to exchange this for the wide screen version of the same movie.
Her: Do you have a receipt?
Me: No
Her: Do you know the phone number of the person that gave it to you?
Me: Yes
after a few seconds of typing it into the computer...
Her: Ok, do you know what day they purchased it?
Me: No
some more typing...
Her: Do you know if they paid cash for it?
Me: I have absolutely no idea.
Her: Hmm ... I'm not finding it here, let me go talk to my manager.
At this point she disappeared in the back for a couple minutes. When she came back she said: Ok, we can exchange that, just go over and get the one you want and bring it back here. Do you know where they are?
Me: (pointing) I assume right over there in the DVD section.
Her: Yes
I returned shortly with the wide screen version and...
Her: Can I have your phone number in case something happens with this one and you need to bring it back?
One fake phone number and some more typing later, I did manage to exchange one unopened copy of the DVD for another copy of the same title. What I expected to take 2 minutes tops ended up taking at least 10 minutes. And for giving me so much hassle for what I consider to be a very simple and reasonable request, they have made my enemies list. I advise all of you to discontinue shopping there, and if you know anyone that works there or just happen to bump in to an employee, heap scorn and derision upon them, because otherwise they won't learn nothin.

Streetcorner Evangelist

While I was in downtown Seattle today, I saw a group of people on the street corner holding up a pretty sizable sign proclaiming something about God (I honestly didn't read it closely enough to remember the details anymore) and shouting as loud as possible at everyone walking or driving by to repent. Now I'm a Christian myself, but even I had to fight the urge to go over and tell them to shut the f*#@ up. And I'm a little surprised that they weren't assaulted, although to be fair, I wasn't in sight of them for long and they may well have been later on. Regardless, I am always shocked to find that there are still people who think that belligerent yelling and sign waving is an effective means of persuasion. And yet I see it all the time when there is an election coming up. Is it just me that takes offense at such annoying tactics? Does this actually work on some people? It has the exact opposite of it's intended effect on me.

And maybe it was because of this that I got home and had the urge to listen to Bleed The Freak. So here you go - enjoy Layne Staley in all his drugged out glory.

16-0

The Patriots survived one final scare to finish the regular season undefeated. Anybody that knows me should know that I have no love for the Patriots, and that I loathe Tom Brady and despise anyone from Boston, but I have to give credit where credit is due. This team is truly amazing. The 1985 Bears are the most dominant team I've seen in my lifetime, but the 2007 Patriots are damn close. I'm reluctant to say that they are more dominant than the Bears because I still feel that they can (and will) be beaten. The Seahawks Superbowl victory will be that much more glorious because of this.

And the other thing that this season has proven to me is that Randy Moss is still one of, if not the most dominant WR's of all time when he's not slacking off. It's just a shame for him that those 2 years of half assed football he played in Oakland will forever tarnish his image.

Unfortunately, as hard as I tried, it turns out I'm unable to write a post about the Patriots without going negative, but I held off as long as I could. I hope that sooner or later someone will hit that jackass Tom Brady hard enough to render him incapable of knocking up any more women and dumping them while they are pregnant. Kudos to Ken Levine for suggesting that Bridget Moynihan name her son Peyton out of spite. I had a good hard belly laugh over that one.

Finally, behold the new poll! I know I've been lazy and haven't put one up in a while, but be sure to vote early and often.

**Update**
I almost forgot - Pat, jumping on the Patriots bandwagon because they are sometimes called the "Pats" is one of the stupidest reasons for liking a team that I've ever heard, knock it off. I'm not saying that you are stupid, I'm just saying that ... I didn't plan far enough ahead to think of an end to that sentence, so I guess I really am saying you're stupid. So get off the damn bandwagon.

Merry Belated Christmas

I've been too busy this week to do much of anything, so until I get around to downloading my Christmas pictures, enjoy this photo from my Aunt and Uncle's house. This was actually taken December 1st, but it's very Christmasy none the less. And I like it a lot.

Almost Over

Despite the fact that I had a half day on Monday and a whole day off on Tuesday, this has just felt like the longest, most boring week in the history of civilization. At this point I'm just trying to wait out the last 20 agonizing minutes, and with any luck, not get any actual work done.

At least next week shouldn't be as bad. There should be less running around to do when I'm not at work, and more sleeping in, football watching, and video game playing. I've got to get out of here....

It's NOT Quite Convenient!

So here I am, working a half day on Christmas Eve because Ebenezer Safeco wouldn't give me a full day off. I've been complaining for weeks now that I would be going out of town for the weekend, would have to come back to work for a half day, and then immediately go back out of town again.

I have been quoting my hero and role model - Scrooge for days now, as I do every year this time of year. And since I have yet to be visited by any spirits, I'm still grumpy. Although, in theory, I don't see how ghosts keeping me up all night would make me any more cheerful or merry. I assume I would be saying a lot of things along the lines of, "let me go back to sleep you damn ghosts."

But before I get too far off track, here is some of the greatest dialogue in literary history, dialogue which I find quite apropos today.

Scrooge: You'll want the day off tomorrow I suppose

Cratchit: If it's quite convenient sir.

Scrooge: It's NOT quite convenient, not at all sir, and not fair! If I were to dock you half a crown for it, you'd think yourself ill-used!

Cratchit: Mr. Scrooge....

Scrooge: But you don't think me ill-used when I pay full day's wages for no days work!

Cratchit: It's only once a year sir.

Scrooge: That's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December.

The entire novel is available online in pdf format here. Or you can just watch one of the many film adaptations. Which reminds me, why haven't I seen Scrooged on tv yet this year. Usually TNT and/or TBS have combined to show it approximately 35 times by now. What gives?

The Curse Is Broken

I am pleased to report that with the help of Stevie Ray Vaughn, I have finally purged the previously mentioned song which I will longer acknowledge from my brain. Hearing Stevie tear through Voodoo Child in the best version I have ever heard is truly a joy. If you have ever flipped by PBS during their pledge drive, then I have no doubt you've already seen the Live From Austin City Limits show before. I believe that Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble have single handedly kept PBS afloat for the past 7 or so years. They play that show at least a half dozen times every pledge drive. As a matter of fact, that may be the only time I ever actually watch PBS. That's not entirely true, I do watch the travelogues occasionally. But I usually speed past as quickly as possible. Anyway, if you somehow have never seen the Austin City Limits show, then something is wrong with you. Also, you should now watch Voodoo Child immediately. And if you wish to send me a $50 donation, you will receive a stylish duffel bag in 6-8 weeks in addition to the heartwarming feeling you will now doubt have for contributing to such a worthy cause. If you want to keep seeing quality programming on this blog, don't hesitate to send in your donations.



And I nearly forgot to mention - after watching Stevie Ray, I proceeded to watch some old Thompson Twins videos and got King For A Day stuck in my head for a short time before eventually reverting back to Voodoo Child. I sure do love cheesy 80's pop.

I Win!

It's official, I have now crushed all of the opposition and claimed the title of 2008 Fantasy Football King in my league. Now sit back while I regale you with the spellbinding tale of my rise to power.

It all started back in whatever month it was that we drafted. I had the 4th pick out of 8 and had properly prepared, or so I thought. I loaded up on quality running backs, quarterbacks who could do no wrong, the best defense money could buy, and so on. Shortly after the draft ended, I looked at the all pros I had assembled and it seemed like a foregone conclusion that I would win it all.

After some injuries had me limping to a meager 3-3 record, I was getting no production out of my WR's and out of desperation, agreed to what turned out to be one of the most unfortunate trades in world history. Figuring that he had dodged injury longer than I had expected, I reluctantly sent Adrian Peterson to the evil Dale in exchange for Laverneus Coles and the promising Brandon Marshall. To even out the rosters, I also threw in the disappointing Wes Welker who had done jack squat all year to this point. Of course, then very next day, Peterson ran for nearly 300 yards, and Welker had about 220 receiving.

The next thing I knew I was 3-9. Battling it out for last place with the other 3-9 team, I managed to end my 6 game losing streak and secure the #7 seed for the playoffs. That's when things began to turn around. Drew Brees came up big for me as I squeezed out a win to knock off the #2 seed. A week later I toppled the #3 seed. That left me matched up with my nemesis - #1 seed Dale who had not lost since fleecing me earlier in the season. Welker did next to nothing for him, and I was left clinging to a 32 point lead with only Adrian Peterson left to play. Would he once again put up a huge game on Sunday night? Would this trade come back to haunt me yet again?

As luck would have it, Peterson had a miserable game, scoring a measly 3 fantasy points, and I tasted sweet victory, as well as sweet vengeance. I'm not sure which is sweeter at this point. Fortunately I will no longer have to take out a contract on the lives of either Adrian Peterson or Dale. I can even stop hoping that each week the inevitable career ending injury strikes Peterson down. I can also cease cursing the Packers defense for nearly costing me the game.

I can also gloat that I have been saying for over a year now that Kyle Orton should be starting for the Bears, although admittedly one good game isn't exactly solid proof. But leading the team to a 10-6 record as a rookie should have gotten him more respect than it did. Hear me now and believe me later, Orton will be in the pro bowl within 3 years. Probably after being let go by the Bears to make room on the roster for an expensive 1st round draft pick who will never pan out. I'm going to guess that Colt Brennan will be that draft pick. The highly respected NFL Draft Countdown (link on your right) is currently projecting the Bears drafting Andre Woodson, QB from Kentucky, but I'm going to stick with Brennan.

Merry Christmas

If you haven't heard Gary Hoey's Christmas album - Ho Ho Hoey - then you're in for a real holiday treat. Here is a video of his rendition of You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch. I absolutely love this.



And as if that weren't enough, here is Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree. My favorite is still the 12 Days of Christmas, so maybe tomorrow I'll throw that up there if I can find it on the net, and maybe if you're real good, Santa will bring you a video of Joe Satriani playing some holiday tunes.

Stitches

I don't know why a song I haven't heard in 5 years will suddenly get stuck in my head, but I have been unable to get the song Stitches out of my head for 4 or 5 days now. I did have a brief period last night when I thought I'd broken free of it's spell - the Stone Temple Pilots classic Dead and Bloated came on the radio - but that only lasted about half an hour before Stitches came back again. It's not even a very good song, and the worst thing about it is that Orgy is an absolute crap band. To start out with, they've got a stupid name, and add to that the fact that they are a bunch of posers that look like a cross between gay runway models and pouty goth whiners with ridiculous haircuts and eyeliner that looks like it was applied with a paint brush. Well, rather than listen to my description, just see for yourself.

I can't even begin to explain how much it pains me to admit that I've ever listened to this, let alone that I can't get it out of my head now. If anyone knows how to get it out of my head without resorting to head trauma, I'm all ears.

Retrospect 2

Oh, the shame! Apparently Sevendust's new CD/DVD combo - Retrospect 2 has been out for 10 days now and I didn't find out about it until just now. Rest assured that my copy is now on it's way. Even though it's mostly live recordings on the CD, there are 3 new studio tracks and over 2 hours of video. And for only $14 and no shipping, you won't find a better deal out there. Order your copy today, all the cool kids are.

My Dog Ate It

I don't know why I find this so amusing, but I do, so deal with it. Apparently Jon Papelbon's dog chewed up his souvenir baseball from the World Series. The same ball that he threw to strike out Seth Smith and end the series. Yes, I actually do feel a little sorry for him, but the comedy is outweighing the tragedy at the moment. And since comedy = tragedy plus time, this will only get funnier.

Vote Ron Paul

This is easily the most brilliant political ad I've ever seen. No mud slinging, no negative campaigning at all. Just a pure, uplifting message. I couldn't agree more that we need smaller government. After seeing this, my mind is made up: I'm voting for Ron Paul.

He's Not Johan Santana

......but the Mariners are expected to announce any minute now that they've agreed to terms with Carlos Silva. This move already has me salivating. We don't have to give up anything other than cash to get him, he's a relatively young 28 years old, and he eats up a lot of innings. Add to that a respectable 4.19 ERA, despite a mediocre 13-14 record, he should put up better numbers in pitcher friendly Safeco Field with a more potent offense backing him up. We are rumored to be offering him a 4 year deal, and I'm sure I'll have to blink myself back to consciousness when the dollar figure is announced, but whatever that figure is, it's almost sure to be worth it. This is a huge boost to the pitching staff, and one more average or better pitcher to take Horacio Ramirez's spot in the rotation could very well make the M's contenders next year. That is as long as the hated Bill Bavasi doesn't trade off too much young talent in the acquisition of another pitcher. If, as has been rumored, he deals Adam Jones and Brandon Morrow for anyone other than Johan Santana, I will tear out his black heart and eat it, thereby consuming his courage. His tasty, tasty courage. At this point I will close by reiterating: give me Johan Santana! And don't trade Morrow and Jones you big, evil jedi looking idiot.

**Update**

Here's a better story from the P.I.

Quote of the Day!

Bring me my ranch dressing hose! - Homer Simpson

Robotic Vacuums

Something has been bothering me about these robotic vacuums. Well, first of all, where does all the dirt go if it doesn't have a bag? I'm sure it's got some tiny little compartment tucked away somewhere and it doesn't need a normal size one due to the fact that it doesn't really pick anything up. But that's not what's really bothering me, that one just popped into my head before I could type this: all of them that I have seen are completely round, so how do they get anything in the corners?

I am really not sold on those things. I think I'll just wait for the full blown robotic maid/girlfriend. Oh wait, scratch that last part - I said too much.

Pro Bowl

Congratulations to the 6 Seahawks heading to the Pro Bowl in February. In case you haven't heard yet, Walter Jones is going for I believe the 26th consecutive time and this time he is taking Matt Hasselbeck with him as well as 4 defenders. Marcus Trufant is long overdue and I think has been very underrated for years. Unfortunately for the Seahawks, it happened in a contract year. That'll cost us. Patrick Kerney, Lofa Tatupu, and Julian Peterson should come as no surprise to anyone. I'm also pleased to see Ken Hamlin get voted in despite playing for the hated Cowboys. I really never thought he'd return to form. I'm also glad to see Sean Taylor get voted in posthumously. That's a wonderful gesture, although I'm sure it pissed off the hateful, bigoted Shelvis to no end. Get over it man.

But what this all really tells me is that the Seahawks really do have a good chance to make it to another Superbowl. It may be a cliche, but defense wins championships, and the D has been solid this year. If we could just get some consistancy on offense and somehow find a way to piece together some kind of running game, we're in business.

UW Fires Defensive Coordinator

I'm a little surprised it took this long, but yesterday the Huskies fired defensive coordinator Kent Baer after having the worst defense in school history. Also on the chopping block was the TE and special teams coach. I'm not sure the defensive problems were entirely his fault, some of those DB's are pretty bad, but it still needed to be done. He probably should have gotten the axe before the end of the season.

In other college football news, the bowl season officially gets underway this Thursday with the who gives a crap bowl featuring two teams nobody wants to watch. It's time to get rid of the bowl system and get a playoff going. There are way too many bowl games anymore and all you have to do to get in one is post a .500 record. I like the bowl tradition, but it's so diluted now that it's become meaningless and it's time to scrap it. The first game I care about this year will be Alabama vs. Colorado on December 30. Roll Tide!

The Ventures

Congratulations to local band, as well as my Uncle's all time favorite band The Ventures for finally getting elected to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. Innovators in surf guitar, they have sold over 90 million albums in their career, and lacking any evidence to the contrary, I am claiming that they are the most successful instrumental group of all time. I have been to see them live twice now, and they still put on a great show despite getting on in years.

If you've never heard them before, then here's a clip of them playing live at the EMP about a year ago. And as a matter of fact, the announcer confirms my statement that they are the #1 selling instrumental group in history. I'm not sure why Nokie Edwards was playing bass in this show, he usually plays lead guitar. Anyway, enjoy.

Star Wars HD

I was thinking about it today and got to wondering why Star Wars hasn't been released on HD DVD yet. George Lucas is always looking for new ways to cash in on the franchise, so I can't help wondering what he's waiting for. At this point the only logical explanation I can come up with is that he's trying to get the HD DVD people and Sony into a bidding war to bribe him to choose their respective format. Of course, if he goes with Blu Ray I'll have to punch him in his swelled head.

Misanthropist

I am neither a misogynist or a misandrist, but special thanks goes out to the Chuckman for pointing out that I am, in fact, a misanthropist. I hate and distrust all people with an equal fervor regardless of classification or category. Truth be told, even the people I like I secretly hate. And I secretly (well, not so secretly anymore) hate the Chuckman for bringing this to my attention.

So Long IHOP

As you can plainly see, the run down International House of Pancakes in the U-district is no more. It was overpriced, and the food wasn't very good, but, well, I was trying to think of something good to say about it but I can't come up with anything. I'm glad it's gone. It'll probably be replaced by some more overpriced condos or apartments. Apparently you can never have too many of those in the area. Otherwise a parking spot might eventually open up. There seems to be some Seattle city ordinance that the ratio of people to parking spaces can never drop below 6:1 under any circumstances.

And where do they get off calling themselves "international"? I've never seen or heard of one being in another country. Just because they try to make it look like a Swiss chalet doesn't make it international.

And finally, why does putting multiple pictures in the same post screw up the text formatting? It sure is irritating.

13 Hours

I somehow managed to get approximately 13 hours of sleep Friday night/Saturday morning. For those of you scoring at home, that's more than 2 night's worth based on the roughly 6 hours a night I estimate I've been averaging in recent weeks/months. The sad thing is that I've still felt tired and sluggish all day. I don't know how many 13 hour nights I need to pull of to get caught up, but here's hoping that tonight does the trick.

And what's really troubling to me is that I don't know what has caused this recent bout of insomnia. I either have difficulty falling asleep, or I keep waking up throughout the night, or I wake up and can't get back to sleep, or a combination of all three. By the end of the week, I'm just a zombie at work.

Now I'm a little ashamed to admit that I cheated on the 13 hours. I couldn't have pulled off such a feat without performance enhancing drugs - in this case Unisom. And they typically don't do the trick more than one night in a row. I seem to build up a tolerance to things with amazing speed. This means that I'll get suspended by the sleep commissioner and won't be able to get another good night sleep for a couple weeks. At least I got my one moment in the spotlight.

Useless Trivia

The word misogynist means "woman-hater". What is the equivalent word for man-hater?

Shocking MLB Revelation

The baseball world was rocked today when the long awaited report from Senator George Mitchell was released. The revelation the Bud Selig has been using performance enhancing drugs for years was the biggest surprise to be named in the report. A visibly shaken Selig was quick to announce that he had received tainted supplements and that he never intentionally took banned substances.

While many think that this will forever tarnish the integrity of the game, to others it came as no surprise. Leading baseball analyst Charles Liotta was quoted as saying, "there is no way that a man of his age could keep up such a rigorous schedule of screwing up the game of baseball without the use of performance enhancing drugs. The long hours and extensive travel around the country required to piss off so many baseball fans should have driven him to retirement years ago."

While fair weather baseball fan Shawn Heinle quipped, "Bud Selig is a jacka$$" and occasional baseball watcher Pat Ott had this to say, "huh?"

At the upcoming winter owners meetings, the primary topic of discussion is rumored to be finding a quality assassin to kill Bud Selig. While Mariners owner Hiroshi Yamauchi is pushing to bring in a Yakuza expert, he has met with resistance from Yankees owner George Steinbrenner who favors employing a domestic hit man. "Why go overseas when there are first rate mob contract killers right here?"

Whichever way they choose, experts agree that this is the only viable way for Major League Baseball to resurrect the public's trust.

Useless Trivia

Today I come to you with a double dose of useless trivia since I've been pretty useless lately.



What is the most sparsely populated country in the world?



Me aside, what mammal has the longest hair in the world?

Bit O' Honey

I seem to remember someone around Halloween was on the prowl for some Bit O' Honey. Well, I'm glad to say that I've just been to Top Foods and they have them in their bulk foods section for $2.99 a pound. The only Top Foods I know of is near Crossroads and I'm certainly aware that it isn't the nicest area of town, but it might be worth the trip.

Rumor Mill Part 2

Next up in the old rumor mill is this interesting little tidbit that I just heard last night: In an attempt to resurrect his waning presidential campaign, Barack Obama will name Oprah Winfrey as his running mate. This will syphon off just enough of Hillary's support from female voters for him to win the Democratic nomination.

Now here is where I am adding my own little spin to the rumor: Hillary will retaliate by naming Al Gore as her running mate. It worked for Bill, and would net her all of the environmental nut support.

And Kucinich will name Ross Perot as his running mate just to corner the market on the crazy vote.

Michael Vick

The big news today is that Michael Vick has been sentenced to 23 months for dogfighting. I assume he'll be out in 12, but I think his NFL career is over. He wasn't that good a QB to begin with, and after sitting out at least 2 seasons, I really don't think he'll be worth taking a chance on. He may end up in the CFL hanging out with Ricky Williams and Onterrio Smith, and whatever other NFL castoffs are up there, or he may have to go the Arena League route. Either way I think he's done in the NFL.

I also think he'll end up sharing a cell with Barry Bonds and a steamy jail house romance will ensue. Barry may have to backhand him a few times to keep him in line, but eventually Michael will learn. The time together will give them an opportunity to start their next business venture - sports gambling. Since that is the one taboo that neither of them has broken yet (that we know of), it is the next logical step for both of them.

Van Halen

Still bitter about missing the Van Halen concert, at least I can take a little solace in knowing that I missed out on seeing an over the hill David Lee Roth blow out his hamstring trying to pull off one of his famous kicks from his youth. I'm a little surprised that the P.I. ran such an unflattering photo. I'm still taking bets on whether or not they can stay together until the end of the tour.

Royals Sign Guillen

In what seems to be the start of an annual tradition, the Royals way overpaid for a pretty iffy Mariner. This time they forked over $36 million for a 3 year deal for Jose Guillen. Yes, the same Jose Guillen who can't seem to stay on any one team for longer than 2 years because of personality issues. Yes, the same Jose Guillen who has struggled with injury problems for most of his career. Yes, the same Jose Guillen who just got busted for spending $20k on steroids. And this from a team that perennially is at the bottom of the barrel in payroll. It's a real head scratcher, but to that I say good job Royals. Please take Jose Vidro too.

Rumor Mill

This rumor is hot off the presses. Word is that after firing Karl Dorrell, UCLA is looking to hire none other than former UW head coach Rick Neuheisel. As most of you probably already know, he is a graduate of UCLA, and after being in the NFL for a couple years, will probably not bring as much scrutiny from the NCAA as he would have right after being fired by the UW. Remember, you heard it here first.