Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Monkeys Are Metallica Fans, Scientists Say

The good people at the University of Wisconsin - Madison have been keeping up their tradition of exemplary contributions to humanity by researching the preferred playlists of primates. It turns out our closest animal relatives are huge fans of Metallica, although they expressed concern that the band has sold out after cutting their hair. They are so like us. As it turns out heavy metal soothes the jangled nerves of these beasts rather than agitating them as some researchers thought it would. I for one am glad to see that they have respectable musical tastes and am considering buying a pet monkey and teaching it to play Guitar Hero.

No mention was made on how they felt about The Monkeys although it is safe to assume that primates don't consider them a 'real' band.

Tying this into the previous Big Foot quote, I now believe the correct formula for catching Big Foot is to have a young, bikini clad Eastern European girl blasting Metallica out in the wilderness. Throw in some beef jerkey and I'll find one in no time.
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