Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Hate Meetings

I really hate them. I spend most of my time in meetings thinking about how much work I have to do and wishing I was back at my desk getting it done. That's why I was dreading my 4 hours of meetings scheduled for today. That's pushing the limit allowed by the Geneva Convention. We don't even subject the detainees at Guantanamo to that. Luckily one of the meetings got canceled this morning and I was left with an hour long Risk Management Committee meeting, which luckily is only scheduled quarterly, and a mind numbing 2 hour conference call/web meeting on the new and improved electronic filing system. If someone were to invent a boredometer, it would have been registering off the charts. This was compounded by the following factors:

1. I'm already a little tired because the Chuckman kept me up later than I should have watching two of the greatest choke jobs in NFL history followed by some Mario Kart where an unusually strong showing by yours truly heaped shame on the Chuckman household for generations to come.

2. The meeting was directly following lunch and, full of BBQ pork and hot links from the Hole in the Wall BBQ (which, contrary to reports I had received, was not as tasty as Mad Oven), I was nearly comatose.

3. One inconsiderate person didn't mute her phone or at the very least move the microphone from her headset away from her mouth a little and I had to listen to 2 hours of heavy breathing. I found this quite troubling and it was quite difficult to focus on the topic at hand.

4. Did I mention it was about filing? I challenge anyone to listen to 2 hours of discussion on the topic of electronic filing without slipping into a catatonic state.

The Risk Management meeting by contrast was riveting. At least it was in a corner conference room up on the 47th floor so there was a hell of a nice view. All the same, having to discuss, among other things, email comments regarding safety concerns from building employees was not an ideal time. Several had nothing to do with safety or risk management and were more maintenance issues and it didn't take long before they all just sounded like whiny complaints. What most surprised me though were the number of emails asking what are we going to do about the swine flu? Dear God, save us all from the impending pandemic!!!!! [note: artistic license may have been taken]. Well, apparently broadcast emails to the entire company are not an effective means of communication since one of those was just recently sent out addressing this very concern and telling one and all that flu shots will be available free of charge to all employees. But the primary point to all of this is that, having seen the filth that some of the slovenly employees will leave behind in the restrooms and kitchens for somebody else to clean up, I can't help thinking that maybe it's a good thing for the malady formerly known as the swine flu to cull the herd a bit. I feel like we could do without a few of the more disgusting folks with deplorable hygiene. Simply washing your hands regularly, particularly if you've been out in public, and maintaining some modicum of cleanliness will go a long way toward halting the spread of contagions. And it will halt the desire for me to savagely beat individuals who are seemingly incapable of cleaning up after themselves. That being said, I better stop now before this transforms from a mini rant into a full blown rant. So maybe the occasional pandemic isn't so bad.

I think I have to stop paying attention to Shelvis though. With each passing day it becomes more plausible that the pandemic scare is a fabrication of the government to distract us from issues like the economy and pushing through the half baked health care plan. I haven't slipped into full blown paranoia yet and started building a bunker in the woods somewhere, stock piling it with guns & ammunition for when I inevitably have to move off the grid. It does scare me though when thoughts like, "maybe he's onto something" inadvertently creep into my head. I'd like to think that when society collapses, I'm going down with the ship. I haven't seen Road Warrior, but I've seen enough to know I don't want to live in a post appocalyptic world. Every time a spin on the wheel of panic comes up swine flu though, the conspiracy theories sound a little less crazy. So please, before I start getting fitted for tin foil hats, do the needful and bring me back to reality.

Thus ends another rambling, incoherent mess courtesy of Craw Fu.
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