After receiving a fortune cookie reading, "geese can be troublesome" Homer Simpson decided to become a fortune writer. He then came up with the following gems:
The price of stamps will climb ever higher
You will invent a humorous toilet lid
You will find true love on Flag Day
Your store is being robbed Apu
And my personal favorite: You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial
It's so true. Now I really want some Chinese food....