Saturday, October 04, 2008

Invented Sports

Made up sports pushing their way into traditional sports media is really starting to piss me off. Every time I see poker on Fox Sports or ESPN I want to punch somebody. Since when is that a sport? Well, my blood is boiling yet again as my latest issue of ESPN the magazine has a huge (50 page) section dedicated to their own made up 'sports' - the X-games. Every year around this time, the same thing happens, and every year I'm tempted to cancel my subscription. Maybe one of these years I actually will. I'm beginning to fear that the sports networks are going the way of MTV. They will continually invent stupid non-sports to cover until eventually there isn't anything resembling actual sports left on the network.

How many stupid events can they cover before people eventually revolt? I've already seen the world championships of rock, paper, scissors. What's next, the world series of mime? No holds barred hokey pokey? World class staring competitions? At some point this has to stop. I've resisted the urge to send an angry email to ESPN since I know it won't do any good, but there's got to be some solution. In my opinion, the war on drugs was ineffective since it targeted the supply rather than the demand, so perhaps it's time to beat the hell out of the knuckle draggers who watch bicycle jumping and the dimwits who watch professional wrestling. My only request is that when you hospitalize a skateboarder, leave my name out of it.

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