Cash For Clunkers

Ever wonder what happens with all of the cars in the cash for clunkers program? Well, wonder no more. They end up in Hillsboro at the Oregon Air Show where they are fed to Truck-o-Saurus.

Eventually Truck-o-Saurus tires of chewing on the cars and breathes fire on them, ultimately bifurcating them. Unquestionable a fine use of our tax dollars.

Porkmobile

Friday is brought to you by the porkmobile. I'm not sure what it's really called - something unmemorable like Maximus Minimus, which is far less catchy than the porkmobile - but it's always parked on the corner of 2nd & Pike around lunchtime. I've never eaten there, primarily because of my aversion to eating at establishments which can just drive away when the health inspector shows up, but also because it always has a long line and because $8 a sammich is pushing stadium prices. Oh, and because the bald girl with a pierced nose (and God knows what else *shudder*) kind of creeps me out.

These things not withstanding, it's still an interesting place and I applaud the modifications made to their mobile sammich unit. It's quite eye catching, and I also appreciate their homage to Charlotte's Web with their license plate. It's clever marketing, and based on the daily lines I assume that their food is good based on the aforementioned lines. I'm not likely to give it a try though, particularly with cheaper, more stationary, closer places like Mad Oven BBQ. But if I hear enough rave reviews (none so far) you never know, I may end up there one day. At least it's an improvement on the police mobile oppression unit (RV) that I've seen parked there many a time.

I did manage to track down some more photos as well as some reviews. I take online reviews with a grain of salt, however, and couldn't make it past the person who used the term, "delish." Not only is that an instant loss of credibility, but anyone using that term deserves a good bitch slap for being a hipster doofus. I think that one review just ruined my whole day and destroyed any remaining faith in humanity.

The Bottom Rack

....the gift that keeps on giving. My last two trips to Costco, after putting everything in my car, I've taken the shopping cart to the corral to find a gift left for me on the bottom rack of a cart already there. Last time I came away with a free case of bottled water. Today I scored a take and bake pizza. Both times I took a look around to try to locate the rightful owner of the afore mentioned items but to no avail. I kind of feel bad for the person who left it behind, but then I remind myself that it is most likely one of the oblivious people who like to stand around and block an entire aisle, seemingly unaware that they are inconveniencing everyone around them. Plus, by the time they get home and realize that they left something behind, they aren't going to drive all the way back for a pizza. Especially not this one that doesn't even have any meat on it, just some tomato slices and pesto sauce. Luckily for me I have some meat in the frig and can fix that problem.

Now I'm considering not shopping at Costco at all, but rather periodically driving through the parking lot and scavanging the items left behind in carts. One of these days I'm hoping to find an LCD TV. Or maybe some of those big muffins. I love those. Since I've officially tipped you off to this phenomenon, I expect a commission on any windfalls. I have yet to have any luck at non-Costco stores, but you never know.

Useless Trivia

The holder of the world record for being the longest serving bartender is 95-year-old Angelo Cammarata, who has been serving the drinks at Cammarata's Café in Pittsburgh for over 76 years - since the moment prohibition ended in 1933. He's now finally retiring, after the bar was sold.

Before & After

Before:


After:


And after:


And after:



I don't think the Smart Car is for me.

Low Score

The crowning jewel of Jerry Jones decadent homage to his own ego - the $40 million scoreboard suspended above the center of the field - is too low. In Saturday's game against the Titans, punter A J Trapasso bounced a punt off said scoreboard. Despite the fact that during tests 2 years ago, Cowboys punter Mat McBriar sent kicks more than 100 feet high, Jerry Jones decided that 90 feet was plenty high. And in a moment of sheer hubris, Jerry's reaction to all of this is to deny that the scoreboard is too low and petulantly pout that the Titan punters were hitting it on purpose. Shame on them.


It remains to be seen whether the NFL will coerce Jones into changing his mind or simply over rule him and out and out force him to raise the board, but one possibility intrigues me. Since hitting the board results in a re-kick with no time added back onto the clock, a team with a narrow lead could repeatedly boot the ball into it until time runs out. Hopefully it will be a visiting team that tries that.

Too Good To Last

Brett Favre's retirement that is. I knew it was just a smoke screen to skip out on training camp and today my worst nightmares came true: he unretired yet again and inked a deal with the Vikings. At this point in his career, he really can't help a team any, although I will begrudgingly admit that he's an improvement over the miserable Tarvaris Jackson. Brett is now cementing his legacy as a self centered, egomaniacal attention whore. I will go on record right now with my prediction that he will set a new franchise record for interceptions and will lead the Vikings to a 6-10 record. I had really been looking forward to enjoying a season free of that drama queen, but I guess that will have to wait another year. But I'm afraid that we are a mere 9 months from having a third straight season of him retiring, reading stories of team mates saying he's terrible to play with, then unretiring with yet another team desperate enough to take a chance on him. I know it's too much to ask for, but maybe Julian Peterson will do the world a favor and sack Favre into retirement in the second game of the season on 9/20.

Craw Fu - Trend Setter

After decades of being shunned by the fashion community, it turns out that the "Craw Fu look" is finally in style. According to this article, which I view as the gospel truth, it is now trendy to sport a gut. Tired of the effort it takes to build six pack abs and hone a tightly chiseled body, lazy men of the world have united and informed women kind that it is unrealistic to expect men to look like that and have defiantly said, "world, this is what men are supposed to look like." It's time to stop doing those crunches and pick up those baby back ribs.

As an added bonus, we are no longer expected to dress in the latest fashions. Shorts and a t-shirt are currently the way to go. Now I have drawers full of stylish clothes rather than my typical none! This is truly a golden age for humanity. My tenets are slowly being adopted by the masses. It is only a matter of time until all of my philosophies are adopted and we live in a veritable utopia. This is one small step for lazy man, one giant leap for mankind.

Zune HD

Saw this article in the Wall Street Journal today that Microsoft is aggressively pricing the new Zune HD, significantly undercutting the ipod touch. Obviously MS hopes to capture some of the market share currently dominated by Apple, but all I can think is, can you really tell the difference between HD and standard definition on a 2" screen? And how much HD video can you store on a 16 GB player? 5 hours? I guess that's not too bad, but it's a little hard for me to imagine that this is a product the market is clamouring for. I think this will be another poor seller.

In unrelated news, I stumbled across this deal recently, Rock Band special edition with all of the instruments, Rock Band 2, and the AC/DC pack all for $99. Sounds like a great deal and I have googled everything I can think of to find out if it's a legit deal or a scam but can't find anybody talking about it. Does anybody have any idea if it's legit?

RIP Les Paul

And so it is that we lose another legend. Les Paul died today at the age of 94. Best known for inventing the solid body guitar that now bears his name, both his playing and his inventions changed the landscape of the music industry. I have nothing more profound to say than has already been said, so I'll simply leave it to those more suited to comment than myself. The world will be a little darker place without him.

"Les Paul was truly a 'one of a kind.' We owe many of his inventions that made the rock 'n roll sound of today to him, and he was the founding father of modern music. This is a huge loss to the music community and the world. I am honored to have known him." - BB King

"Les Paul set a standard for musicianship and innovation that remains unsurpassed. He was the original guitar hero and the kindest of souls. Last October I joined him onstage at the Iridium club in [New York], and he was still shredding. He was and still is an inspiration to us all." - Joe Satriani

"Les Paul was a shining example of how full one's life can be; he was so vibrant and full of positive energy." - Slash

"Without Les Paul, we would not have rock and roll as we know it," said Terry Stewart, president of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. "His inventions created the infrastructure for the music and his playing style will ripple through generations. He was truly an architect of rock and roll."