Friday, June 12, 2009

Crayon Juice

For everyone out there, like the Chuckman, whose childhood love of consuming crayons and paste led to a lifetime of debilitating food allergies, I present to you Crayon juice. I walked into the office kitchen this morning and was absolutely dumbfounded by what I saw. I looked at it from several different angles trying to uncover what mysteries it held, yet for some reason feared to touch it. Perhaps picking it up would have given me a better understanding but I'll never know. I just stared in awe, wondering if this was some kind of liquefied crayon drink, or merely a crayon flavored concoction. I wondered if perhaps Crayola has a similar drink. I've heard of other liquefied products like liquid nails, but I certainly would never consume them.

Knowing that no one would believe me if I tried to tell them that such a product existed, I took a picture for posterity. I knew that any attempt to try to convince someone I wasn't making it up would be met with mockery and derision. I can't go through life with any more mockery than I already face on a day to day basis.

And yet I must admit that several hours later, it still haunts me. How is such a product possible? Who would buy it? I think I would rather drink some of that vile V-8 than anything crayon flavored. And assuming it is not actually crayon flavored, why would any company think that it is a good marketing ploy to invoke the image of something inedible (unless you're The Chuckman) for a food product? Even Velveeta is smart enough not to market itself as plastic flavored cheese, even though that's what it is. At this point I just hope I don't lose too much sleep trying to come to terms with this.
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