I just got home from the orthopedist. I haven't had an MRI yet, but after poking at me, bending and twisting my knee, and generally doing things to make me hurt, he told me that I have a completely torn ACL and MCL. There may be damage to the cartilage and meniscus too but I won't know for sure until after the MRI. So it looks like surgery for me later this week followed by a few months of rehab. If all goes well in 6 months I might be able to start running again. All in all, it's a worse diagnosis than I had expected, but the good news is that they gave me a brace which is way more comfortable and which allows me to bend my knee. It also means I can now reach my toes and will be able to tie my shoes, drive, etc.
In completely unrelated news, a new study in monkey antagonism has found that monkeys hate flying squirrels. The report from prominent monkey annoyance experts could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys. I am currently enraged at my high school guidance counselor for not informing me that this is a field I could have gone into. I guess this is why they will eventually rise up and enslave humanity as foretold in Planet of the Apes.