The Grinch

Last night my Christmas viewing spree continued unabated with How The Grinch Stole Christmas.  The original cartoon version, not the terrible Jim Carrey version.  Anyway, the point is that early on in the show, the narrator kept going on and on about how what the Grinch hated most about the Whos down in Whoville is the noise.  Quoth the Grinch, "That's one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise, noise!"

Well, this reminded me that on nearly a daily basis, I complain about the noisy people in my office.  But rather than feel like a Grinch, I found that this made him more relateable and sympathetic.  The Grinch wasn't really a bad guy, he was just a private man who enjoyed quiet and solitude but was continually pestered by his noisy and inconsiderate neighbors.  Yes, I would gladly steal Christmas from some of my co-workers if it would get them to shut the hell up. 

This got me thinking:  a lot of offices have a 'secret Santa' program around this time of year where people anonymously give gifts.  Well, I think I'm going to start a 'secret Grinch' program in my office.  I am going to go around and anonymously steal people's roast beast and whatever other things strike my fancy, while leaving behind a business card saying, "courtesy of the Grinch."  I realize that publicly stating this may reduce the anonymity somewhat, but that's a risk I'm willing to take if this thing is ever going to catch on.  And since I don't work with any children, only adults that act like children, there are no Cindy Lou Whos to guilt me into giving stuff back and making my heart grow 3 sizes - a serious medical condition known as cardiomegaly, by the way, which claims lives each year, yet more evidence that the Whos are insidious - I won't be giving anything back.  Anything I take will be mine forever.  Eventually I will have some peace and quiet.