Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Conspiracy Theories

The human mind is programmed to solve puzzles, to put pieces together, in general to reason out the cause and effect relationships in the world.  In some people, this critical thinking instinct doesn't work properly and the next thing you know, you think that Major League Baseball is using sattelites to spy on you for the purposes of selling more merchandise, or worse yet you're wearing a tin foil hat and watching Jesse Ventura's television show.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I love a good conspiracy as much as the next man.  And I love a bad conspiracy theory more than the next man.  Anything involving covert government operations, secret groups that control the world, time travel, or aliens is usually pure gold.  I found a link today that features some grade A, laugh out loud lunacy. 

Some of my favorites:

J Edgar Hoover created a hit squad of flamboyant homosexuals to assassinate JFK, because hey, who would ever suspect flaming homosexuals?

All redheads are the offspring of aliens.  I'm not sure of the reasoning behind this one, but the lack of reasoning is apparent.

Canada, the US, and Mexico are planning on uniting to form one massive country.  The most entertaining part of this conspiracy is the quote that came from the conspirator, “I heard and see on the internet that this is in the makings is it or not? if so what would happen to the Consitution of Independce?”  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that correctly - the Constitution of Independence. 

And my personal favorite:  “Dentist are putting small mircowave type things in your teeth! This help's to give you Heart Burn which in turn puts Doctor's in business and Drug companies selling Heart Burn med's. NEVER HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ONE COMING.”  I personally plan on confronting my dentist regarding this at my next appointment.  I will also seek comment from Dr. McNabb
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