Thursday, October 07, 2010

Chips

A wiser man than myself once said, "life is one crushing defeat after another until you just with Flanders was dead."  Truer words have never been spoken.  That's why, when life decides to throw you a bone it's cause for celebration.  So gather around one and all as I regale you with the heart warming tale of the 3 bags of chips. 

This Thursday began as a day like any other.  Actually that's not really true, it began as a pretty miserable day (which I guess is like any other day) but I decided to be a bit poetic.  It sounds better that way don't you think.  But I digress.  This afternoon, during my customary coffee break, I felt a might peckish and looked into the vending machine to see if anything struck my fancy.  Nothing did, however an unprecedented opportunity presented itself.  Wedged up against the glass of the machine were 3 bags of chips.  Clearly others had attempted the traditional jostling of the machine to no avail. 

Examining the situation from many angles and doing some rudimentary calculations, factoring in friction, gravity, wind velocity, inertia, and so on, I decided it was time for a gamble.  I knew full well that putting my money into that machine might very well result in a 4th trapped bag but I also knew that fortune favors the bold.  As you can plainly see, fate was on my side this day.  Had I selected the wrong bag of chips this endeavor would undoubtedly have failed, but I chose wisely.  While the 4th bag (the one I actually paid for) got stuck, it did manage to dislodge the other 3.  Not one to be greedy or look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, I rejoiced in my triumph and was happy to leave a 2nd bag for the next person who would come along.  As I sat at my desk, fingers oranged by cheese dust, I contemplated this glorious occurrence and decided that this is unquestionably the best thing to ever happen to me at work. 

And for those of you scoring at home, the illustrious hand model seen here is none other than the famous Ace - his nearly severed thumb having healed nicely.  In the spirit of full disclosure, Ace was offered payment of one bag of chips for both witnessing the event for posterity and for services rendered as a hand model but turned down the generous offer. 
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