Apple and the iPhone 5

Recently, The Molitor, a self proclaimed Apple zealot, posted a brief treatise on what makes the iPhone, and Apple products in general, great, and I feel the need to rebut.  If you don't want to take the time to read his position, it can essentially be summarized as 'they make pretty products'. Never mind the fact that Apple just sued Samsung, claiming that the Galaxy SII was designed so that it was indistinguishable from the iPhone to the layman.

To provide full disclosure, let me just say that Apple makes fine products, I personally have owned 2 ipods for several years, and for a while owned some Apple stock and sold it for a tidy profit.  Had I held onto it longer, I would like the company a whole lot more. Apple is a well run company and does a lot of things well.  Their forte is in user interface.  For years they have designed their products in a way that they are easier to use than a majority of their competitors, and I will readily admit that my android phone has room to improve in this area - some things are more difficult to do than they should be.  Apple is also second to none in marketing.  There is a well known proverb 'a fool and his money are soon parted', and nobody does a better job of separating fools from their cash than Apple. Time and again, Apple has taken existing products and ideas, repackaged them and slapped an Apple logo on them, and convinced a large portion of the populace that it was their idea.  Even a former Apple executive admitted as much, saying that, "Apple haven't invented anything."

That brings me to what I don't like about Apple, beginning with the legion of cult members. For example, when Apple released the white iPhone 4, the fanboys fell all over themselves lining up to get in line to throw their money at Apple, proclaiming the company execs to be geniuses for inventing the color white.  Example #2: Jimmy Kimmel recently took to the street to gauge public response to the iPhone 5.  He showed people the iPhone 4S, told them it was the iPhone 5, and they predictably fawned over how much faster it was, how it was lighter weight, how much better the display was, etc.

In general, Apple customers are the epitome of conspicuous consumption, however rather than buying Apple products to display wealth (as is the dictionary description), they buy them to convey status.  They feel that owning the latest Apple product somehow makes them cool, little knowing that it makes them a laughingstock.

I'm not one to let the opinion of others to influence my decision, so I'll continue.  I dislike Apple's restrictive environment.  Users are restricted in what they can do with the products they own, and developers are handcuffed with what they are allowed do do with apps.  This is exactly the thing that opened the door for Microsoft to dominate them in the PC market, and has opened the door for Google to walk through in the phone and tablet market.  Unless Apple learns from past mistakes, they will continue to see their market share erode.  But I digress, my point is that not only do several existing Android and Windows Mobile phones sport superior specs, but they allow you the freedom to do more with your device. I realize that this is a point of preference, as many people would sacrifice performance for usability, but I am very much a utilitarian, and being able to do more and do it faster is more important to me.

This leads me to my next issue: an inability to keep pace in performance has led Apple to become incredibly litigious.  Their answer to eroding market share, rather than create better products, has been to sue everyone in sight.  They recently won a decision against Samsung, which most experts agree will probably be overturned or significantly reduced upon appeals, but more importantly will undoubtedly set off a chain reaction of retaliatory and pre-emptive lawsuits, all to the detriment of the consumer.  Yes, I absolutely believe that Apple should have the right to defend it's patents, and to some degree I believe that this is more an issue with the horribly broken patent system which will issue a ridiculous patent for a rectangular shape with curved corners. Mark Cuban has written extensively and more eloquently than I could regarding patent law, so I won't waste time duplicating efforts. My point is that this spate of lawsuits will reduce competition in the industry and increase the cost of products.  The big loser will be consumers.  There is a well written editorial here, and I couldn't state it any better than this:

In the end, consumers will lose. Companies high and low are scrapping potentially amazing product ideas right now for fear of legal retaliation. Not just from Apple -- this ruling is way, way bigger than that -- but from any company with a patent on [insert obscure shape here]. I hope we're happy.

The lawsuit against Samsung was primarily fueled by Steve Jobs' insane ego, so I hope that with Tim Cook now in charge, perhaps cooler heads will prevail, however I fear that Pandora's box is now open and can't be closed again.

Again, full disclosure: I currently own a Motorola Droid Bionic.  I'm happy with it, but would have preferred the Samsung Galaxy SII if only it were available from Verizon.  Prevously I owned a Samsung Omnia (Windows Mobile), and prior to that a Motorola Razr.  I believe that Samsung currently makes the highest quality phones, and will look had at their products when it comes time for me to upgrade.  I'm currently irritated that Google has gone out of their way to make it difficult to sync android phones with Outlook, so I will also look hard at Windows Mobile phones next time around.  What I will not look at, however, is an iPhone.  For me, Apple's phones are inferior to those of their competitors, and while I know they meet the needs of a lot of people, they fall short of my what I'm looking for.

The Incredible Hulk

I'm watching the pilot episode of The Incredible Hulk television series and a few things have occurred to me. 

1.  I don't know why I never realized this before, but it is essentially a modern day retelling of the Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde story.  Both have a troubled doctor who manages to turn himself into an uncontrollable beast, and the two are seemingly separate people with no memory of what happens when he changes. It all seems so obvious now, I can't believe it just came to me now.  It also borrows from the biblical story of Samson, who was also known to wreak havoc when he got angry. 

2.  I wonder what the wardrobe budget is for Dr David Banner.  Every time he gets angry he destroys a shirt and pair of pants.  It's a good thing he's pulling down a doctor's salary otherwise he would quickly go bankrupt.  The Hulk was walking around barefoot, so I assume he destroyed his shoes too, but since they didn't explicitly show him busting out of them, it's possible he simply removed them.  That would save him a bit if he did.

3.  It is kind of a warning about the dangers of roid rage. 

4.  I find it somehow odd that even his nipples turn green when he changes.  I don't know why I should expect any different since his hair changes color as well, I guess I just thought that they would be a different shade of green.

 



5.  Finally, as he was lifting his car in a rage, I couldn't help thinking that someone needs to remind him to lift with his legs and not his back. If he gets a lower back injury, he will really get angry.  But then again, with his superhuman strength, maybe he's impervious to back injury.  Even a gun shot barely slowed him down, so I suppose that's a safe assumption to make. 

That's all I've got.  It's just a shame that Lou Ferrigno got typecast and never really had much of an acting career outside this show.  I guess his buddy Arnold Schwarzenegger took all the good roles for bodybuilders.  Maybe Lou should follow in Arnold's footsteps and run for governor.  It will have to be a smaller state though since he wasn't as popular as Arnold.  Maybe Wyoming.  And he would add to the growing list of former co-stars of Arnold to run for governor.  Although I guess he was never a co-star, just a friend.  Still, why not run anyway?

Open Letter To Netflix

I have a few comments and suggestions for Netflix, and since it is next to impossible to jump through all the hoops to contact Netflix through their website, and it will no doubt fall into a black hole and never get read even if I do get through all the nonsense, I'll just complain here. Although chances are nobody will read it here either, but at least it will make me feel better.

Let me start by talking about streaming television series.  I stream a lot of content through my Xbox, and the Xbox app sucks.  It is very irritating that you can't select which episode you want to watch, it automatically starts streaming when you select a series.  I won't say that somebody deserves to lose their job over that, but I will say that whoever is responsible for that decision deserves a running kick in the crotch.  Next, it would be delightful if, when watching a tv series, when you finish an episode, the following episode should automatically begin.  Or, better yet, you could simply program in how many episodes you would like to watch. And it should be this way on all platforms.

The user review feature has devolved to the point where it is pretty much useless.  It's time to drop it and only list professional reviews for movies.  The user reviews have not yet reached Youtube levels of hostility, stupidity, racism, etc, but they are quickly moving in that directions.  More and more they are becoming of the type, "Why isn't this streaming?  I pay $8 a month and feel entitled to access to every movie and tv show ever recorded" or, "this movie sux!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or, "my DVD was scratched and I can't watch it."  Brainless comments such as these do nothing to help me decide if a movie is worth watching.  For a while, I would report dozens and dozens as 'not reviews' but apparently I'm fighting a losing battle because things are getting worse instead of better.  It's time to just dump the reviews all together. 

Finally, I would like to see an annual Netflix Film Festival every year around the time that there are other film festivals going on around the nation.  If you were able to get together some new, independent films for, say a month, that would be awesome.  And I have to think that a lot of indy film makers would be thrilled at the opportunity to have their films viewed by an audience as large as that of Netflix's subscribers.  I think this would be a win for everyone, I don't see a down side.

That's all I've got for now, however I reserve the right to update this at a future date.

Meteor Shower

With NASA and meteorologists worldwide promising celestial fireworks this evening, I grabbed a folding chair and parked myself in front of my building to take in all the glory of the annual Perseid meteor shower.  As it turns out, I ended up disappointed.  With the forecast for up to 100 meteors an hour, I sat out for an hour and 15 minutes, from 11:30 to 12:45, and saw a grand total of 5 meteors.  All of them relatively unimpressive - no bright ones streaking across the night sky.  The ones I witnessed briefly appeared and quickly faded away.  I also witnessed three constellations which I was able to identify - Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, and Cassiopeia - one satellite, two noisy and annoying teenage girls, one fat chick, one old bald guy, three raccoons, and a bird that I was unable to identify in the dark. In all fairness, I was not in an optimal viewing location though.  I had some trees obstructing my view, and was close to artificial lights.  Ideally I would have liked to have viewed them from my vacation home in the wilderness, out away from the city lights, but sadly I don't own a vacation home.  I guess I'll have to wait for the Leonid meteor showers in November.

My camera phone takes pretty lousy pictures in the dark, but if you look closely, you can make out some raccoon eyes peeking out from behind the tree. 

 

It wasn't all bad though.  For starters, I got to spend some quality time in the cool night air after a hot day.  And from time to time, it's very pleasant to  just sit and enjoy the peace and relative quiet of the evening.  It affords the opportunity to relax and think.  And as I gazed up at the stars and pondered the vastness of the universe, I found it odd that some people like Carl Sagan can look up at the sky and conclude that we are insignificant when you consider that we are on a medium sized planet, orbiting a smaller star, inside an average galaxy.  I, on the other hand, marvel at the fact that tucked away in our little corner of this massive universe is the only known life.  Certainly extraterrestrial life may exist, however it's also quite possible that we are alone in this universe and completely unique.  That makes me feel special, and makes me feel that life is precious.  And if life does exist on other planets, the odds that aliens are bipedal, with two arms, two eyes, generally just similar in size and appearance to humans is extremely unlikely, despite what those who claim to have been abducted would have you believe.  And if you believe in evolution, the odds that intelligent life would evolve into similar species on different planets is extremely unlikely.  It's more reasonable to think that purported alien sightings are time travelers from the future returning to our time.  And this is precisely the point where I decided that I'm done pontificating for the evening and it's time to get some sleep.

Burgers

Yesterday I got my lunch at Zippy's Giant Burgers.  I had been looking online for good burger joints in the area, and Zippy's kept showing up, so I decided I had to give them a try.  Conveniently located in White Center (convenient if you live in West Seattle or Burien, convenient for me yesterday because I was going to Alki anyway), they use fresh ingredients and grind the chuck on site, they don't buy pre-made frozen patties. 

I was pretty hungry when I got there and went all out and got myself the Last Gasp burger.  The last gasp contains pretty much everything you could want on a burger.  Starting with a quarter pound patty and the pre-requisite special sauce and veggies (lettuce, tomato, and pickle), they proceed to top it with a hot link, fried egg, bacon, and American cheese.  On a tangent, is American cheese the worst thing that this great nation has bestowed it's name upon?  I think so.  It's terrible, and I would be happy if it went out of production.  When I was in Denmark several years ago, they referred to it as 'plastic toast'.  Anyway, back to the burger - obviously it would have been better with some cheddar, pepper jack, havarti, smokey gouda, pretty much anything other than American - but was still a decent burger.  I found the hot link a little overpowering though.  It drowned out some of the other flavors a bit.  I also feel that the quality of bun could have been improved.  They use pretty much a standard sesame seed bun like you'd get at McDonalds or in an 8 pack at your local Supermarket.  I think that the bun is one of the most overlooked parts of a gourmet burger, and that if they switched to a toasted brioche bun or kaiser roll, that would significantly improve the flavor of the burger and ultimately the cachet of the restaurant. Ultimately, though, it was a pretty tasty burger.

In addition to the burger, I got some onion rings.  I'm please to say that they make battered onion rings rather than breaded rings.  If you're not a connoisseur of onion rings, believe me when I tell you that it makes all the difference in the world.  Battered rings are much crispier and have a richer flavor, and are just better in every way.  Zippy's gets the thumbs up from me for their onion rings, however they are still not as good as the best onion rings I've ever had which were at Crazy Eric's.  If you ever find yourself in Bremerton or the Puyallup Fair and in need of some cheap, greasy, delicious food, then Crazy Eric's is the place for you. But that's a review for another day.

I'm headed back to Alki next Monday and am planning on swinging by to try another burger that I am pretty curious about on the menu:  the Maui Wowie.  With spam, pineapple, teriyaki mayo, and swiss cheese, it could either be delicious or terrible.  I'm hoping for delicious, but either way it is at least pretty unique. So let me close by saying that Zippy's does have some good tasting food.  They are very reasonably priced in comparison with some other gourmet burgers in the area, but the burgers aren't as giant as you would expect based on the name.  Except for the King Lou Lou which has 4 quarter pound patties, 4 slices of cheese, 8 strips of bacon, and sauteed onions. That one sounds pretty giant.  I'd have to be pretty hungry to attempt to tackle that bad boy. Oh, and one last thing, they don't have any drinks on tap.  Only bottles of root beer and various other sodas, beer, and milk shakes. I didn't try a milk shake so I don't know how they taste, but I did find it odd that they didn't have any fountain drinks. 

Starbucks Refreshers

Starbucks recently provided me with a free Refresher beverage, so I feel I owe them a review.  The Refresher beverages are iced drinks made from green coffee extract and flavored with fruits.  I tried the very berry hibiscus flavor and am happy to report that it was quite tasty.  I've never tried green coffee extract before, so I didn't really know what to expect, but to me it tasted a lot like green tea flavored with fruit juice.  There was no coffee taste at all which, for a coffee lover like me, is a little disappointing, but may please the non-coffee crowd.  And if I find myself in the mood for something a bit different, it fits the bill.  It is refreshing, as advertised.  It does contain caffeine, however I don't know how much in comparison to and espresso drink or tea.  I would say it's comparable to a lemonade iced tea, or Arnold Palmer if you will, so if you like those, you'll probably like the refresher.  And since it hasn't been named after anyone yet, I believe I'll start calling it a Carson Palmer. 

And while I'm on the topic of Starbucks, I'd like to propose a question: why do I get served drinks with the hole in the lid lined up with the seam in the cup?  If I don't notice this before I start drinking, it's likely to result in coffee dripping on my shirt.  So I'm wondering, do baristas not pay any attention to the lid orientation and put it on randomly, or is this a way for baristas who think I'm a jerk to get a little payback?  I would think the former since I'm pretty affable, however with all of the attention to detail that Starbucks is known for, it makes me wonder if it's the latter. 

The Dark Knight Rises

I braved the torrential downpour today to catch the opening day showing of The Dark Knight Rises.  I got there nice and early to ensure I didn't have to sit in the front or on an aisle, and despite the fact that I only got there about 25 minutes prior to showtime - later than initially planned - there were only 2 people in the theater when I arrived.  To my surprise, the theater was less than half full when the show started.  Starting with the trailers, Argo looked interesting. Oz looks kind of bad, it has a strong Tim Burton vibe (not a good thing) but I didn't see his name in the credits.  I'm growing weary of superhero reboots, so I don't have much interest in Man of Steel. I also have a hard time getting interested in the Total Recall remake, particularly since the best part of the original - Arnold Schwartzenegger - is missing.  Also, there's something about Colin Ferrell that makes me want to punch him in the face.  On the other hand, if someone brainwashed me and convinced me that Kate Beckinsale was my wife, I'd be pretty happy about that.  Moving on, The Bourne Legacy seems to me like another cash grab sequel that will be mediocre at best. Finally, Jack Reacher is another Tom Cruise action movie that didn't seem to have much plot, at least not in the preview.  That's all of the previews I can remember, and overall there isn't much to get excited about. 

On to the feature: The Dark Knight Rises started out with an action scene which almost had me rolling my eyes.  I was a little concerned that there would be copious amounts of unrealistic action, but other than Hines Ward returning a kickoff for a touchdown in a later scene, it wasn't too bad the rest of the way. I mean, seriously, I don't think I've ever seen Ward return a kick.  But at least they used a professional football player rather than an actor. 

As you may already know, Bane is the villain in this flick, and since a hero is only as good as the villain, I was pleased to see that Christopher Nolan went to great lengths to turn him into a truly frightening sociopath.  No longer is he the hulking meat head he was in Batman & Robin (starring George Clooney), he is now intelligent and purposeful. I don't know if it was intentional, but his mask and raspy, labored voice made him somewhat reminiscent of Darth Vader.  Feel free to refer to him as Darth Bane if you like.  What I found really interesting about Bane and his followers, is that all their speeches and grandstanding sounded exactly like the Occupy Wall Street movement.  'The rich fat cats have been oppressing us for too long', and 'we're going to take back what's rightfully ours' and so on.  They continually fan the flames of class warfare to return Gotham city to the violent state it was in prior to Batman cleaning it up in the first film.  I'm not familiar with the comics, so I'm not sure if it's faithful to the source material, or if the film makers are trying to make a political statement, or if they are simply trying to be timely, but it was as if they watched news footage of the Occupy movement and added it to the script word for word.  Make no mistake, though, Bane was a worthy villain: powerful, ruthless, hateful, and if that weren't enough - kicked out of the League of Shadows for being too sociopathic. 

Catwoman is an interesting character as well. She retains the skin tight costumes from previous iterations (which Anne Hathaway looks great in by the way), but we no longer have to put up with any purring or ridiculous one liners.  She's a real character, rather than a caricature, and she keeps you guessing until the end whether she will turn into a hero or a villain.  Michael Caine, however really stole the show as Alfred.  He has a relatively small part in this film, but his scenes are highly emotionally charged and he truly left me in awe.  Some of the other emotional scenes border on sappy, but Michael Caine really nails it.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt also shines as John Blake, a young cop who is unusually perceptive and aids both Commissioner Gordon and Batman.  I think we'll see a lot more from him in the future. 

I can't say enough about how impressed I am with Christopher Nolan as a film maker.  Like the previous two installments, he takes source material that is steeped in fantasy and finds a way to make it realistic.  None of the characters have super powers or behave in unbelievable ways.  That, to me is what makes villains truly terrifying.  Vampires and zombies don't frighten me at all, but a brilliant serial killer like Hannibal Lechter or a violent and charismatic man like Bane who is able to recruit followers to his cause of creating anarchy is plausible enough to make me wary.  More importantly, Nolan is a brilliant story teller who is able to weave a tale in such a way that it's difficult to see what is coming without having to resort to crazy plot twists at the end like M Night Shayamalan.  The Dark Knight Rises keeps you engaged from beginning to end and at no time does the 2 hours and 45 minutes seem long or drag in any way.  I went into the movie with high expectations and it didn't let me down in any way.  In my opinion, this surpasses the Dark Knight, but I think I still prefer Batman Begins.  This film left me wanting more, unfortunately the only additional material I will ever see is bonus material on the DVD, which I now can't wait to purchase.

Beard

For the last couple of months I've been cultivating a pretty solid disheveled look.  I haven't shaved or gotten a hair cut, and to be completely honest, I really enjoyed looking like a mountain man coming back to civilization after a couple months of beaver trapping out in the wilderness.  I've learned something about bearding, though - eventually you stop looking stylish and look like a slob.  I passed that threshold weeks ago.

 

This is the extent of my Grizzly Adams look before I finally had enough and had to shave it off.  I'll let you in on a secret - by this point it is itchy as hell and quite annoying.  I don't know if you eventually break through and it gets better, but if not, I don't know how guys make it to the ZZ Top stage.

My first attempt at a new look was what I call the Irish immigrant look.  I have some Irish blood in me, and could pull this off.  I could see myself in a smoky bar, standing toe to toe with Tom Cruise in Far And Away, and I would fit right it.

 

Here's another view for your enjoyment.  And though I look quite grand, it's still too long and irritating and I have to go shorter.

The next logical step, obviously, is the fu manchu.  This is really classy.  Too classy I think, so ultimately I went with no facial hair at all.  So, though I don't look as good, it is kind of a relief to be hairless and I feel much more comfortable.

There's An App For That

Twice today I've looked at something and thought, "what is that?" And so it is that I stumbled upon an idea for a great smartphone app. I call it What The Hell Is That? Anytime you see something you don't recognize, you take a photo of it and the analyses the photo and tells you what the hell it is. Everybody could use this. Any developer would make millions selling it. And being the generous soul I am, I'm not even asking for a cut of said millions for this idea. I'm giving it away virtually free. All I want in return is a free copy when it's completed. I will also accept a trip to Bora Bora if one is offered, however that is not on my list of demands.

This has been another million dollar idea brought to you by the brilliant and innovative minds at Craw Fu Industries. We make the world better. ©

Running Mates

I was just reading this article (while listening to this song if it helps put you in the right mood) about Mitt Romney's potential running mates, and all I can think is: why are the president and vice president a package deal?  Why do we get to vote on every publicly held office except the vice president?  Is it because the VP doesn't really do anything and has no real power, or is it because nobody cares who the VP is, or is it something else?  As far as I know, there's no political advantage to having a running mate, only a potential liability (see Sarah Palin).  I've never heard of anyone voting for or against a president based on his running mate.  I have yet to hear, "I wasn't sold on Obama until he brought on that Biden fellow."  Of the many idiosyncracies in the American political system, this one possibly makes the least sense to me (although admittedly I don't see the point of the electoral college either).

It wasn't always this way.  Originally, the second place candidate in the presidential election would become the vice president.  I'm not suggesting we return to that, but I'm sure the majority of Americans would prefer to have vice president McCain in place of vice president Biden.  Who am I kidding, nobody cares.  Certainly there are down sides to this, foremost among them that it would encourage crackpots (of which we have an ever increasing number) to become assassins if their candidate lost the election.  Anyway, this all changed in 1804 with the ratification of the 12th amendment, though it's unclear whether the intent was to devolve into our current system. 

What I'm suggesting is a separately elected vice president, if for no other reason than I think Americans should be able to choose their own leaders.  It will also return some of the prestige to the position that has been lost over the years.  Currently, the VP is just a glorified cabinet member.  Directly electing a VP would increase representation by adding someone to the White House staff who was not appointed by the president and therefore not in political lock step.  Obviously, if a VP from the opposition party were elected, it would potentially be too difficult to work together - the situation that led to the 12th amendment in the first place.  So I think that the VP should be elected from the same party as the president.  This just makes too much sense not to be implemented.  It should be the 28th amendment, or Crawford amendment if you will.  And you will, if I have anything to say about it.