Monday, October 12, 2009

Increase Your Salary

According to a new, completely unbiased study by the American Mustache Institute, men sporting staches earn 8.2% more than their bearded and clean shaven counterparts. Since it is commonly believed that mustachioed men are limited to careers in adult film or law enforcement (or both), I can only conclude from this study that these professions are very lucrative. Based on my own personal research, the only conclusion I've been able to reach is that a goatee and 4 days of stubble won't net you any large paychecks.

Sadly for me, the few minutes of experience I have had with a stache resulted in considerably lower self esteem. It looked so bad I couldn't shave it off fast enough. In the interest of striking it rich, however, I am now considering a stylish Fu Manchu, or Craw Fu Manchu if you will. I know I will.

Unfortunately for you ladies, the stache effect doesn't extend to your gender.
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