Sunday, January 22, 2012

Resident Evil

I was just watching the Resident Evil 6 trailer online.  The game won't come out until November, so it seems like this is awfully early to be starting up the hype machine.  Anyway, as I was watching it, I started thinking that since guns aren't very effective against zombies, some kind of weapon that they get tangled up in and keeps them from moving would be more effective.  Something like a netting.  Then for some reason I thought that Spiderman would be a very effective superhero for fighting zombies because of his web slinging.  He could either shoot the zombies with a mouthful of web so they can't bite anyone, or he could shoot them in the legs and trip them up so they couldn't walk.  Now I can't help wondering why, in a time when theaters are inundated with both superhero movies and monster movies, there hasn't yet been a fusion of the genres.  I think I would like to see Spiderman vs The Zombies.  Moreover, I'm interested in seeing a superhero get bitten by a zombie (or vampire or werewolf, etc), becoming a superzombie.  What would be scarier than Superman becoming a flying zombie?  Nothing, that's what.  I'm not sure the entire Justice League could stop a zombie Superman.  The only hope for the world would be Spiderman getting him all tangled up in a web.  Again it all comes back to Spidey.  Anyway, all you Hollywood executives who are reading this, be sure to give me some free tickets when such a movie hits theaters. 

Moving right along, I saw a ton of movie previews while watching playoff football games today, and for the most part they looked pretty bad.  Ghost Rider was a terrible movie, how in the world does a sequel get greenlit?  It boggles the mind.  There's absolutely no way I can imagine part 2 being anything but a bomb.  Ditto for the equally abysmal Clash of the Titans.  I'd say Wrath of the Titans looks like a career killer, yet somehow the producers have managed to bring back most of the big names from the original cast.  But at least it will be in 3D! 

Which brings me to my next tangential topic:  am I the only one who is beginning to think of 3D as a massive gimmick?  The majority of movies shot in 3D to date have been pretty bad, and yes I'm including Avatar in that list.  While visually stunning, the movie itself was quite bad.  But my point is that it has gotten to where I more or less write off a movie if I see it advertised as 3D.  The previously mentioned Ghost Rider 2 and Wrath of the Titans will almost certainly be bombs.  The latest iteration of Underworld is currently receiving unfavorable reviews.  And Journey 2 - the sequel to Journey To The Center Of The Earth doesn't look good, and even though it only has 10 reviews so far on Rotten Tomatoes and it's too early to officially declare it rotten, only 4 of those 10 have been favorable.  Which should come as no surprise with The Rock starring in it.  I'm sure he's made a watchable movie, but off the top of my head I can't think of what that movie was.  Long story short, I feel like 3D has become a crutch to prop up low quality movies, and just as we now look back of 3D movies from the 50's and think they are cheesy as hell, coming generations will look back at 3D movies of our time and think of them as equally cheesy.

Over the last few days, I watched the 6 episodes of Portlandia that are available streaming on Netflix, and I'm unimpressed.  It's a fabulous concept, gently poking fun at some of the self important fringe members of society (who are prevalent in the entire Pacific Northwest, not just Portland), but it fails in it's execution.  There are an abundance of vegans, burned out hippies, people who want to live in a commune, belligerent bicyclists who hate anyone who drives a car, and countless others who derive a sense of self worth out of some action or ideal and rightly deserve a little skewering to deflate their egos.  It's not mean spirited, it's some good natured ribbing, so no one should take offense, but the simple fact of the matter is that the show just isn't funny.  After sitting through six episodes, I can think of only one moment that made me laugh.  The series just feels very forced and tedious to me. 

Finally, I'll finish up my entertainment rant by saying that I recently found out about a movie titled Tucker & Dale vs Evil.  It's a relatively low budget horror/comedy and it was surprisingly humorous and enjoyable.  It gets the coveted Craw Fu seal of approval.
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