Suck For Luck

I've got a couple new money making ideas for you.  I've been watching the Seahawks and wondering why in the world Pete Carroll has been starting the completely horrible Tarvaris Jackson.  I'm convinced that it's a plan to lose enough games that we can get the top pick in next year's draft and replace him with Andrew Luck.  So I'm thinking about printing up some t-shirts with Jackson's picture emblazoned with the phrase Suck for Luck and selling them outside the stadium.  The should go like hotcakes.  Speaking of which, are hotcakes still the big seller they were in the past?

Moving on, today a coworker suffering from a cold informed me she was running across the street to Bartell's to get some Airborne.  That's when inspiration struck.  I now have plans to manufacture and market a cure all boldly named Placebo.  The catch phrase will be, "it will cure whatever ailment you think it will."  I think the general population is so willing to buy placebos already that brazenly naming it Placebo will make it irresistible.  I think I will make the primary ingredient sugar for two reasons.  Sugar pills have been historically used as a placebo, and also I figure the sweet taste will make it that much more pleasing to the suckers, uh, customers.