Movie Reviews

Today and today only, movie reviews are on a buy one get one free special. First up is the vampire horror flick 30 Days of Night. The premise is interesting, vampires invade the city of Barrow, Alaska - the northernmost city in the United States - where in the winter time it is dark for 30 consecutive days. Like many movies with an interesting premise, however, that's where the interest ends. The only thing keeping this movie from being a total disaster was ... nothing. It was a total disaster. Didn't see that coming, did you!

I will never understand the Hollywood tradition of characters in horror movies being tragically stupid. The entire film has you thinking, "don't do that you idiot" only to have them do exactly what they shouldn't. I really don't think I can tolerate that at all anymore. But at least the vampires are cool, right? Sadly, no. The head vampire is a mouth breather who spends the entire film with a look of confusion on his face. And he speaks some presumably ancient vampire dialect that sounds like it could be Inuit or some other native language despite the fact that he's exceptionally pale. The rest of the vampires are unable to speak and only shriek in what sounds like velociraptor sound effects. They have the appearance of some emo kids with fake teeth and some facial applications to make them look slightly deformed. And not only do they rip off the Jurassic Park sound effects, they also seem to be doing their best to model their movements after raptors as well. Well, a combination of raptors and runway models posing and mugging for the camera anyway. Scary? Hardly.

One thing that really bothered me, probably more than it should have, is that though they were in the arctic circle in the dead of winter, all the characters spent extended periods of time outdoors with nothing covering their faces, and often no gloves, and yet none of them got frostbite and rarely did they even shiver. It's the kind of little detail that I just seem to be unable to get past as a viewer - almost as bad as somebody leaving the refrigerator door open and all I miss several minutes of the plot obsessing over why they won't close the damn door. But forcing myself past that, I'll wrap things up by saying that the script and story were terrible. Josh Hartnett was the only actor I'd heard of, although I recognized one actor as Sgt Gordon's corrupt partner from Batman Begins. And with the exception of Hartnett, the acting was bad. Just all around a very bad movie that I can't really think of anything good to say about. It was even worse than the regrettable Lost Boys 2.

I'll try and purge that movie from my memory by talking about the decent film Merry Christmas or Joyeux Noel if you prefer the original French title. It is based on the true story of the Christmas Truce during World War I. In 1914, the French, Scottish, and German troops ceased hostilities, came out of the trenches and shared meals, sang carols, played soccer, exchanged contact information in case they lived through the war, and held impromptu church services.

I don't know too much of the history of the truce, so I don't know how accurate the film is. I do know that the story was well written and had both heart wrenching moments and heart warming moments. It reminded you that despite wars and hatred filling the world, people are still capable of civility toward each other. It really was uplifting. And if you're worried about it being a foreign film, worry not. Each group speaks their native language. The Germans speak German, the French speak French, and the Scottish speak Scottish which is similar enough to English that you should be able to understand most of it with little difficulty.