If you haven't seen the "no stank you" commercials that seem to be on constantly, consider yourself lucky. If you have seen them, then I'm sure you can relate to the sentiments I'm about to express.
Dear $%&*)#s,
Your "no stank you" commercials are so &^#)@# annoying that mere words cannot begin to express the rage I feel when I see one. You are all evil @%%^#s and I hope you die a slow and extremely painful death. Extremely. I swear, if I see that piece of @&$* one more time, I will track you down, shove a red hot ^&^#$%& up your fat @#$& while &(**&^ing you in the @#^^ until your @#^^$@ turn black and blue. I will then proceed to beat you with a crowbar until your own mother won't recognize you. I now plan to take up smoking simply out of spite.
Best wishes,
Your worst nightmare
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