Lost Returns

Lost season 4 starts on January 31st. If you've missed past episodes, get caught up here. You can even watch them in HD. Special thanks to The Molitor and his lovely wife for getting me caught up on a good portion of season 3. Unfortunately it turned out that getting entirely caught up was a bigger undertaking than I had initially realized. It looks like I'll be taking long lunches at work this week so I can watch the remaining unseen episodes of season 3 on my laptop.

And so here are my predictions for this season:

1. They will find out that the island is in the Bermuda triangle. That's the only possible explanation for all the weird stuff that goes on there.

2. It will be revealed that everyone on the island is related to Jack in some way.

3. The "others" will turn out to be Scientologists. Tom Cruise will be their leader.

4. All the "survivors" will find out that they actually died in the crash and the island is actually the first circle of hell.

5. Hurley will eat a candy bar.

6. With the writers guild strike continuing indefinitely, the writing will be outsourced and the show will become a Mexican soap opera filled with hammy overacting, a guy dressed in a bee costume, and tons of gorgeous scantily clad women.