Careers I Didn't Know About

My guidance counselors all through school really let me down. They told me about a lot of jobs I could get with the right education, how I would have to work hard to get a good job, but they informed me about opportunities like making $90k a year wearing t- shirts. There are a lot of things I'm not qualified for: doctor, lawyer, airline pilot, or even president, but I am certainly capable of wearing a shirt in public. I do that every day for free. If someone is going to pay me, I'd be willing to wear a shirt of their choice to a particular place. If you want people in the Pike Place Market to see how good your shirt looks on strapping, ruggedly handsome man, I'm the guy for the job. Hell, even if you want someone to wear a shirt that says, "I'm a wiener" to a Seahawks game, for the right price (including tickets), there is nobody more qualified than yours truly. If you want to advertise to aliens, for $90k a year I will go make some crop circles in a corn field and do my damnedest to get abducted. In conclusion, if you have extra shirts and cash on hand, gimme.