The Complete Essay On Cow

The following essay was emailed to everyone in my office by our partners in India yesterday. Apparently everyone in India thought it was a riot. Here in Seattle it sparked a lot of head scratching, confused looks, and hours of lost productivity as people read and re-read it and then discussed with coworkers why exactly it was funny.

INDIAN COW

He is the cow. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed, and because he is female, he gives milks. He is same like God , sacred
to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward
and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the
milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement.

What can it do?
Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. And
he is also useful to cobbler, waterman's and mankind generally. His motion is
slow only because he is of lazy species, and also his gober is much useful to
farmers, plants and trees and is used to make flat cakes, in hand and drying
sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth.
He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending
organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing
his head whereby he causes the weapon to be paralleled to the ground of the
earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forewards. He has got tails
also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on
the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of
his feet are soft onto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night
time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose
are like his other relatives. This is the cow...........

From here, the discussion turned outward (at least from me). I forwarded this to a few other people, hoping to find an answer to the underlying humor that escaped me, and also hoping to halt work in other offices as well. It wasn't until someone finally emailed India to ask them why it was funny that it was revealed that they were having a good laugh at their own difficulties with Engrish. The only person to successfully reach this conclusion unaided was the Mistress of Shenanigans. Kudos.