Take Advantage of the Heat

The warm summer weather is here (for now) and so it's time to ask:  don't you hate it when you open your car door and get a blast of hot air in the face like you've just opened a furnace?  Wouldn't it be much better if, instead, you opened the door to a blast of the smell of fresh baked cookies?  Now you can.  According to the all knowing internet, if you've got 2-3 hours to let your car sit in the sun, you can bake cookies on your dashboard.  What better way to beat the heat than to use it to your advantage.  Sure, anybody can fry eggs on the sidewalk, but then there are sanitation issues involved.  And engine block gourmets can tell you that the hint of oil isn't too appealing.  Dashboard cookies are definitely the way to go in hot weather.

How To Bake Cookies on Your Car's Dashboard on Howcast

Happy 4th of July

As we quickly approach what is probably my second favorite holiday (after Christmas) I would like to wish everyone a safe and happy 4th of July.  To me Independence Day means spending time with family and friends, eating too much BBQ and pie, knowledge that once the 5th rolls around it will stop raining and warm up, and of course - to quote the Simpsons - celebrating my nations independence by blowing a small part of it up.  It's just a good time.  Hell, we even had a pizza party at work today and I found myself smiling in the office for the first time since ... maybe ever. 

Anyway, a quick reminder on safety though, take a hint from this guy and don't make your own fireworks.  I would really like everyone I know to still have their eyebrows come Monday. 

Futurama

In case there are still some of you out there who are not aware, make sure to set your DVRs to record the glorious return to television of one of the greatest shows in history - Futurama.  New episodes begin airing tomorrow, June 24th on Comedy Central at 10 pm Eastern time.  I loved the show when it originally aired but will admit that my expectations are tempered a bit by the less than stellar feature length DVDs that were released in it's absence from television.  But even if the show has lost some of it's luster, it should still be far and away superior to the majority of programs currently in circulation. 

Now if those evil programming executives will just see the light and bring back Pushing Daisies, I'll be a happy man.

Candy

Just a quick little anecdote today.  When the decision was made to move the department candy bowl over to the table near my desk where it would be visible in my peripheral vision all day long, I was a little concerned that the temptation to eat copious quantities of candy would lead to obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and ultimately my untimely demise.  What has happened instead is that the daily 8 hour parade of fat asses walking past my desk has been a far more successful deterrent to gorging myself on sugary treats than I ever expected.  Coming to the realization that almost no skinny people partake of the candy has been enlightening.  Of course I expected there to be less traffic from the height/weight proportional, but virtually none I did not expect.  I am now considering putting some pictures of giant asses on my refrigerator and cupboard doors at home as part of a weight loss plan.  Whenever I head over to get something to eat, I'll get that (not so) subtle reminder that maybe I'm not all that hungry after all.  That and I need to ramp up the exercise.

Public Service Announcement

I saw a car on the shoulder of the freeway today with a flat donut.  It made me laugh a little.  So for those of you who don't already know, that spare tire in your trunk is only meant to be driven a limited number of miles.  And I haven't looked at mine in a while but I'm pretty sure it also says not to go over 45 mph too.  So unless you want to get stranded somewhere and look like an idiot, if you get a flat tire, get to a service station somewhere and get it repaired as soon as possible and stay off the freeway. 

Something I Never Thought I'd See

Driving home Sunday evening I was briefly stuck behind somebody driving erratically.  His speed was inconsistent and he seemed to have trouble staying in his lane.  He was driving by Braille - drifting over until he hit the lane markers and then jerking back.  I wondered if he was drunk or if he was talking on the phone, but more importantly I wanted to get away from him as soon as I could.  So when I finally got a chance to move over to the next lane and pass him I did and looked in the window as I drove by to see which it was.  It turned out to be a third option that I hadn't considered.  I could see part of a head visible above his lap.  I don't know what kind of psychosis causes people to risk their lives and those of the people around them for a moment of pleasure, but it's troubling how stupid people are.  I suppose if I had a car I didn't care about I could have hit him causing his girlfriend to bite down, but I don't need my insurance rates going up.  But I endorse anyone else resorting to vigilante justice if they happen to see this kind of activity.

Business Slippers

An idea struck me today for a product that I don't know why it doesn't already exist, or maybe it does and I just don't know where to find it - business slippers.  I would like to be able to wear my regular shoes to work and when I get to my desk, slip them off and put on a pair of slippers that look enough like business wear that I can get away with walking around the office in them when I need to get up and refill my coffee cup or go to a meeting.  Studies show that workers are more productive when they are more comfortable, and what would make you more comfortable than slippers?  And since the majority of my time in the office is spent with my feet under my desk, then who would be the wiser?  I also envision some high heeled slippers for the ladies. 

In completely unrelated news, and when I say completely unrelated I mean it, the new single from Disturbed is finally out - Another Way To Die.  I've given it a couple listens and it's not their best work but it's a solid effort.  I have to mark them down a little for being too politically correct though with their environmental themed message, not to mention rushing this to market in an attempt to capitalize on the BP oil spill.  I call bad form on that.  Anyway, watch it in glorious 720P!

John Adams

After a week out of town, I finally got the time to finish off the John Adams mini series that I've been watching for a few weeks now.  Not being a historian, I don't know how accurate it is, however I am of the opinion that the screen play must have been written by one of his detractors.  The mini series left me wondering what exactly made him great.  The film portrayed him as being petty and concerned above all else with his reputation and his legacy.  He neglected his family to seek glory and honor in Europe prior to the revolution, disowned one son who "shamed the family name" by not following in his father's footsteps and becoming a lawyer and being a financial failure, had ongoing squabbles with Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and Alexander Hamiltion, and worst of all, threatened to not accept the vice presidency because he viewed it as a "slap in the face" losing the first presidential election to George Washington.  I have a difficult time believing that a man who was one of the most influential founding fathers was so vain and self righteous.

I was also bothered by the fact that the series skipped over very large segments of time.  In particular they skipped over the Revolutionary War entirely, apparently deeming it unimportant in the story of one of the framers of the Declaration of Independence.  Also, on a technical note, I found it very annoying that the series constantly went back and forth between whispering and shouting.  I was constantly turning up the volume because I couldn't hear what was being said, only to turn it down minutes later because it was too loud.  It's a film making technique which is only surpassed in annoyance by the increasingly popular "shaky cam".  Perhaps worst of all, however, was that it was just boring.  The episodes really dragged.

I've had an unexplainable interest in early US history recently, also watching documentaries on Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson, so I did enjoy the history, no matter how dubious, and the acting and production was for the most part well done.  Trying to get a more accurate view of President Adams, I read his entry on the White House web site and have started perusing his Wikipedia entry.  If any historians would like to weigh in on the accuracy, I'd love to hear it.

Quotes of the Day

The Motley Fool was kind enough to provide several great quotes today, supposedly in regards to economics, but the best ones were more about human nature in general.  Here are my favorites:

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always rely on the support of Paul." - George Bernard Shaw

"A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants." - Mark Twain

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

"Ability without honor is useless." - Cicero

"Have a great Memorial Day Weekend" - Craw Fu

Nicknames

In an attempt to limit the pain, I have watched the Mariners sparingly this year.  What I have come to realize, however, is that the only thing more painful than watching the play on field is having to hear Rick Rizzs spew the least thoughtful nicknames ever created.  There is nothing worse than just abbreviating someone's name and adding a 'y' to the end.  It's like fingernails on a chalk board every time I have to hear Ichy, Fisty, Figgy, or the two that are so stupid sounding that the literally fill me with anger - Lopey and Gutty.  Come on Rick, how about just a little bit of creativity, and for the love of all things holy, something less stupid or step aside and let somebody with more creativity take over.  Even ripping off the A-Rod method of nicknaming and coming up with F Gut (Franklin Gutierrez) or F Her (tee hee - Felix Hernandez) is a step in the right direction.  I never liked the nickname King Felix either - it's too lazy and pretentious - but I'm going to try to remain focused on the topic at hand.

The Mariners booth has become increasingly boring in general and is really making me long for the days of Ken Levine.  I wish we would bring him back before we end up with Kotchy, Vargy, Leey, Wilsy, Aardsy, etc.  But I'm not one to take the easy way out and simply criticize without offering solutions, so here are but a few that I was able to come up with on short notice.

Jose Lopez:  No Way Jose.  This would be useful every time he steps to the plate.  Imagine if you will, "the Mariners have 2 men on and need a hit here to win this game, will they get it?  No way Jose!"

Doug Fister naturally lends himself to all manner of vulgar nicknames referencing the practice of fisting, however in an attempt to keep things clean since baseball is a family sport here in Seattle, I am considering other options.  The Iron Fist I feel is pretty solid.  I'm also reminded of the karate style Kenpo which translated roughly means the Law of the Fist.  That would make a pretty damned good nickname as well.

Franklin Gutierrez is a difficult riddle to solve.  All I can come up with is Dirty Frank, and then they could play the Pearl Jam song by that name when he gets up to bat.  I'll keep you up to date with any additional nicknames as they come to me.