In The News

In an effort to prove that the print media is still relevant, the front page of the USA Today featured a hard hitting investigative piece of journalism sure to win them a Pulitzer. It turns out that banks are making a lot of money on overdraft fees and other hidden fees. Shocking! When did this start, and did the USA Today have some inside men in the banking industry digging up this information?

Not to be outdone, Reuters is reporting that the French are rude and arrogant. Who would have guessed? I believe these stories, however, are just a conspiracy to try to distract the nation from the real news story - the crippling Slim Jim shortage plaguing the land. Special thanks to the anonymous source who tipped me off to this.

There, I Fixed It

I've just found a delightful new web site titled there, I fixed it. There you will find such clever and innovative repairs and improvisations as this spare tire.
Or if you prefer, this spoon made from a zip tie and some duct tape. Whatever your fancy, this site comes with the Craw Fu seal of approval guaranteeing minutes of entertainment.

Facebook

Well, after resisting nearly constant prodding from several people, my will was finally broken and I'm now part of the cult of Facebook. Note that I did not say I signed up for Facebook. One "friend" finally got tired of harassing me and decided to put an end to it all by just creating a profile for me and telling me about it later.

I had been reticent for several reasons, including but not limited to:
After being coerced to sign up for myspace and thinking that was a waste of time, I wasn't interested in any more social networking.
I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon and am more naturally repelled by cultish things (like the iPhone).
I don't really see the point. Anybody I want to talk to I will just email.
I'm antisocial and hate people.
With a lot of people, it seems more of a contest to see who has the most friends than anything else. I really couldn't care less about that.

It's too late to turn back at this point though, and maybe I'll be able to find out what some old friends that I haven't seen in years are up to now. Particularly my old college roommate Dr. Ridgeway. I have a couple of friends from high school - Jesse and Juanito - that I'd like to find out what they are doing now too. Not to mention that since Grande Pescadoes seems to be dead again after a brief Lazarus-like revival, I need to get my daily dose of the big fish somewhere. And I think the Chuckman might even share some his wisdom with the world via Facebook and I don't want to miss out on that. But until some good starts to come of it, I'm bored with it already.

Windows 7

Does anyone know anything about Windows 7? I myself looked it up on the MS web site and didn't find any useful information regarding what new features it will have or why I should upgrade from the Vista I currently have on my PC (which for the record I don't really have a problem with other than a few annoyances). It turns out I'm too lazy to do any research beyond that.

Anyway, the reason I ask is because I recently received an email from Costco informing me that if I pre-order Windows 7 by July 11th, I can get it for $50 off the suggested retail price. Will this be a better OS, or is it simply some fixes that they could have done through a service release and they are simply try to appease all of the Vista haters and raise a little capital at the same time? If, as I said, I don't have any real problems with Vista, is there any real reason for me to upgrade?

Monster Sucks

I've had my resume up on Monster.com for several months now, and maybe other people have had luck with them, and maybe it's just the economy, but I have had no luck. I've been contacted for some low paying, repetitive jobs, but what really takes the cake is the emails I get from Monster. I have a search saved for Insurance jobs in the Redmond area and in the daily email I get from them, the job opportunities matching those criteria have included but are not limited to:
Bilingual video game tester (must speak French)
Light wheel vehicle mechanic
Chaplain (for the Army National Guard)
Physical Therapist
Veterinarian cardiologist
Dentist for the Navy in Tucson, AZ! What the hell is the Navy even doing in the desert?
Membership Sales (Women encouraged to apply!) at a dating service
Jurisdictional Inspector (I don't even know what the hell that is, but following the link it says, "This position is primarily responsible for conducting jurisdictional certificate inspections of boilers and pressure vessels.")
Expert C++ programmer in Alabama

This is why I'm still at the same job at this point. I'm just about at the point where I give up on Monster and start trying some other options. Either that or become a chaplain. But since it's a free service, I guess you get what you pay for. Good times.

Community Property

Rarely does a song come along that really touches you. Well, today when I was on my home I heard a song that at first I thought was just another crappy power ballad, but just as I was about to change the station I heard something that gave me pause. With my finger hovering above the next preset station, I had to stop and ask myself, "did I really just hear him sing 'my heart belongs to you, but my dong is community property'?" As it turns out, I did hear that and more. No, the song isn't very good, but where else would you hear such touching lyrics as, "If you were a hooker, you'd know I'd be happy to pay If suddenly you were a guy I'd be suddenly gay." Enjoy.



And just so I don't risk getting my blog blocked as being not safe for work, I'll just link to the lyrics here. And just so you don't get your hopes up about the song actually being good, let me just tell you up front that Steel Panther also has song titles like 'Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)', 'Death To All But Metal', and 'Asian Hooker'. This goes squarly in the comedy pile.

Tale of the Runaways

I have been on a new music frenzy recently and this frenzy has led me to Maylene & The Sons of Disaster. Most of the songs I've heard aren't very good, but this one hooked me in. It's more melodic and mellow than their other songs. I can't help listening to it repeatedly.

Through the magic of google, I found a site called imeem.com that had an embeddable mp3 which seemed great except that I couldn't get it to work, and when I tried going back to the link it wanted me to sign up for something to listen to it again. So now I'm stuck with the only other version I can find, which unfortunately is set to the backdrop of a stupid cartoon, but what are you going to do? Anyway, the song is haunting and I love the harmony.

Breaking The Sound Barrier

Chances are this isn't the first picture you've seen of a plane breaking the sound barrier, nor will it be your last. I just think it's pretty cool. I don't really have anything to say about it, but here's the accompanying article if you're interested in a very brief, not very good explanation of the accompanying visual phenomenon. I'm impressed that they are able to catch it on film. In addition, here's a slide show of more planes breaking the sound barrier.

Matamorphosis

Papa Roach - I Almost Told You That I Loved You

Papa Roach first got my attention with their song Last Resort and officially hooked me with Between Angels and Insects. Despite the stupid band name and the lead singer who couldn't sing, I still found myself enjoying the catchy guitar work and meaningful lyrics. After some early success, they couldn't have followed the path of so many other young bands and partied until they had spent all of their money and wound up in rehab, then putting out a mediocre album or two to try to capitalize on their previous success. Instead, fast forward 9 years and they have worked hard to refine their craft. Jacoby Shaddix has even learned to carry a tune and does an admirable job on many of the songs.

Long story short, Metamorphosis has 3 good songs - Hollywood Whore, I Almost Told You That I Loved You, and Lifeline - along with a handful of ok songs. Not a memorable album, but they are showing progress as musicians, and it was worth the $8.99 to download the whole thing from Amazon.

Hot For Teacher

Upon hearing news that Miss Georgia 2009 - Kristina Higgins relinquished her title a day after winning after learning that her duties would interfere with her job as a middle school teacher, all I could think is why in the world didn't I have any teachers that looked even remotely like this when I was a student. Perhaps I would have enjoyed school had there been teachers of this caliber. I will even go so far as to say that this started a chain reaction of hating school which culminated in my dropping out of college and ultimately led to me being an underpaid, unappreciated peon at a lowly job. Had I been inspired by such a dedicated teacher, I most likely would have my PHD by now and would have either cured cancer or invented a can that keeps beverages cold longer or something. One thing is certain and that is that I would undoubtedly be more pretentious and unbearable than I already am. And now the world must suffer for the failure of the educational system to stimulate my, um, intellect. I weep for the future of America as a result.